In a sudden flash of realization that words, whether written, read or spoken are a form of solace for any and everyone!
For some its reading their favourite psalm from the bible, for some its a verse from their favourite poem or a letter from their sweetheart. For a few its the comfort of spewing their emotions on paper or for that matter web space. And yet others feel better when they talk about what they are going through or maybe even talk about anything at all. Most commonly people would need to hear words of comfort.
Its so strange...the power of mere words. Although they affect the actual situation in no way. It is pleasant to drown in the relief that they provide and let them ease away all that's troubling us. But I wonder whether they are just another form of escape from actually facing the situation or do they act as medicine for the lacerations when handling life. Then again I remember... Sometimes its these very words that can leave you scarred for life!
December, in Mumbai, is one of the most pleasant months. The residents of the city get a respite from the humidly oppressive heat without having to bear harsh winters. On one such day in December 2006, they met around mid-morning at Churchgate station-A casual meeting between friends who hadn't met for a while because of exam schedules. They greeted each other with brilliant smiles, reserved for people who "make your day".
They exchanged initial pleasantries and headed towards Mocha for a relaxed morning of coffee and chatter. Most of the day passed by like a breeze...lunch at Pizzeria....a walk along Marine Drive...well almost...
Come evening, they sat together at the sea-side. Each of them involved in their own thoughts--thoughts of events, other people and life in general. The conversation was just perfect, just enough to suggest company and comfortable enough to allow room for the thoughts. Suddenly, she glanced at him and caught him staring at her. She held his eye and they looked....just looked at each other.
They only noticed time, when it began trying to veil the intimacy of their gaze, with the dark blue of the night sky.The spell lifted and a chill breeze blew in.
Not a little conscious, she eventually asked him,"Usually when we speak, even when you are miles away from me, over the phone, I always know what exactly is going on in your mind and heart... But today, you are here sitting, not 1 foot away from me and I'm incapable of understanding anything about you." He just smiled a mysterious smile and answered.."Thats because I was thinking about you..."
TODAY
A year has passed that day....a year full of turmoil and unpleasant events.....
He calls her up. Him: "Hi!! Whats up?" Her: "Hey, nothing, just watching TV..U tell me.." Him: "How are your studies going on?How was todays paper?" Her:"Sucked big time...Better try to make up in the next one..What about your work?" Him:"All great as usual." Her:"And your amma?" Him:"She's fine. But I do miss her." . . . .(a pause..the kind that you would call pregnant..) . . Her:"I think I should get back to my work now" Him:"Yea, I guess you should...bye!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I guess life goes on.... we haven't seen anything that qualifies the end of the world yet..
Aati hain jab hume yaad tumhari Humse mat poocho kya hasrat hai humari Ek koshish thi kabhi pana tasvir tumhari Jo keh na sake apni juban se kabhi hum Bina kahe pooch leti tasvir tumhari Hoti jo aahat aangan mere kabhi Bhar jaati tumhare ehsas se chahat humari Rehti hoon jab main saaye mein khamoshi ke kabhi Yaad karti hoon hamesha muskan tumhari Aati hain jab hume yaad tumhari
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Na tujhe, Na teri wafaaein maangi, Na apne liye koi duaaein maangi; Na khwab,Na teri yaadein maangi, Na dosti ki saugaatein maangi; Pucho fir hume khuda se gila kya hai, Khuda se maangi woh dua kya hai; Tum khush raho, rab se yeh fariyaad ki thi, Lekin meri khusi barbaad karne ki ijaazat na di thi.. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I apologize if it was appalling...but it was a sincere attempt at shayari..
I'm not begging you to love me. I'm not really even asking you to. But isn't it alright if i cherish that hope in my heart ? If i just dream of holding your hand it will hurt me and not you. I'll try to keep my eyes from shining when they see you and i promise not to smile a special smile when you say hello. But please... Don't ask me Not to love you.
i never thought i would find a song that aptly describes any part of my life.... but i recently found a song that describes my love life perfectly...
ONly his name isn't DREW....and i don't play the guitar...lol... but in essence its the current state of my love life... not really my kinda song...but the lyrics just HIT home!!
its called "teardrops on my guitar" by an artiste called Taylor Swift... here are the lyrics.. Teardrops On My Guitar Lyrics
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about And she's got everything that I have to live without
Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny That I can't even see anyone when he's with me He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right, I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
[Chorus:]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly, The kind of flawless I wish I could be She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
[Repeat Chorus]
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light I'll put his picture down and maybe Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do He's the time taken up, but there's never enough And he's all that I need to fall into..
I came across this recently...and it touched a chord somewhere...
There's No Hope
you don't even know the pain i feel when i start to question what is real i know you're the cause my lust for you gnaws its way, through my brain and i'm here, alone standing by myself, with tears of understanding rolling down my cheeks this time i'm really confused about what i should do i have this fear of never being satisfied i can't find stable happiness, i've tried and tried , this isn't easy,
i'm the butt of my own joke,
i want some affection, this is all i hope but now i know my bended heart won't be mended by your love.... no longer will i cry or ask for help from up above and i'll live my life until i die wondering if i'll ever be satisfied it's not easy being the butt of your own joke i want some affection, this is all i hope -Derek del Barrio
Yesterday was one of those uncharacteristically rainy evenings, when u want to sit by your window and simply stare at the rain pouring down... But it was not one of those days when the rain made me ecstatically happy..it just made me inexplicably confused..A mixture of emotions whirring through my mind.. But i sat still, turning 'nothing in particular' over in my head... when i remembered this snippet i had once written so i thought i'll put it up...
When it rains, It feels as the skies are Crying and rejoicing for Us all All those fools who love My heart feels like Its in a whirlpool of emotion Soaring up to the heavens And flung down to hell Both at the same time Thats what i've realized Love feels like That i can be happy Even while my heart is breaking....
There is no better way than a poem to tell someone what they mean to you... On the receiving end of it, I can tell u.. It feels wonderful, to have someone tell you, that you are important to them.. and that your existance, actions and friendship means something to them.. One of my freinds gave me this gift..And it meant more than anything that money could buy.. He gave me this poem saying.."Its not one of my own..But I says exactly what I feel".. Here it is:
What You Are To Me
In unhappy times when you hurt and bleed I’ll be the friend that you will need
Coz you’re special to me in many ways The way you’ve helped me in troublesome days
I’ll never forget the sacrifices you’ve made My smiles you’ve loved, my tears forbade
You’ve been with me in all my joys Every moment with you I have enjoyed
Everything you’ve done I will repay In my own small insignificant ways
Coz you’ve been the friend I’d always need And I’d be to glad if I could be
Something even close to what you mean Everyday I thank God for giving you to me
my take on love...i'm sure v've spoken on the subject like a zillion times...
but..hmmm..
heres an ad hoc rhyme..
in my human eyes..
through lifetimes..
the state of love varies...
to my innocent mind..
in a bygone time..
love was like a quintessential lea...
to my hardened heart...
in a then stark life..
love was like a turbulent sea...
to my inexperienced mind..
in the current moment..
love is like an entity..
its boundaries blurred yet clear...
the sole reprieve yet my greatest fear...
pain which seems like exquisite joy...
a confused lie which i deny!
i hope that answers ur question...