Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Na tujhe, Na teri wafaaein maangi,
Na apne liye koi duaaein maangi;
Na khwab,Na teri yaadein maangi,
Na dosti ki saugaatein maangi;
Pucho fir hume khuda se gila kya hai,
Khuda se maangi woh dua kya hai;
Tum khush raho, rab se yeh fariyaad ki thi,
Lekin meri khusi barbaad karne ki ijaazat na di thi..
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I apologize if it was appalling...but it was a sincere attempt at shayari..

15 comments:

rOhit said...

Must admit the attempt at shayari wasnt bad et al. ;)

Coz being honest I can never come up with such stuff.. :P

Pretty good.. :)

DreamCatcher said...

very honest approach must say...n a nice start :) welll someone said hindi is not god...uhhmmmm

vitruvian said...

@rohit:
thank u...
i kno i found it really difficult...

@dream:
yea...u have to give me some concession for that...
and my vocab will not become like yours even in a thousand years..

DreamCatcher said...

zara nawaji ke liye shukriya mohtarma..itna bhi mat pheko..that i start riding high on sky..

anyways its been so long ki i have written something in hindi..u r now inspiring me :)

Ashu said...

Thats a honest attempt to write out the thoughts. i dont care about how good it is or bad it is. the words were gripping and they were superb. especially the

"Khuda se maangi woh dua kya hai;
Tum khush raho, rab seyeh fariyaad ki thi,
Lekin meri khusi barbaad karne ki ijaazat na di thi.."

Choice of language or words dont matter as long as you are able to send across your message....

And i found it really sweet........

vitruvian said...

@dream:
hey thats good new...i'll look forward to reading some hindi...
since ur warning me..i'll go buy an urdu and hindi to english dictionary... ;)

@ashu:
hey thanks...i'm so glad u liked it...
then i'll try to keep writing in hindi as well...
and dil se jab nikalta hai...tab toh the thought will always come across... :)

KP said...

Really nice and well written....:D
shayari likhna koi aap se sikhe...
you got skills...:D

c e e d y said...

hey dont underestimate yourself by apologizing - atleast you made an attempt - not many have that courage - and btw it was a good attempt - i agree with ashu above - langauge and words dont matter as long as you can communicate - keep writing and slowly the skills will be honed and shayaris will be more polished :)

cheers back to you

Rahul... in City of Dreamz said...

Its an amazing piece.. well done and keep writing :)

vitruvian said...

@kp:
thank u...i think aap mujhe chane ke jhaad pe chadha rahe ho...
but the praise is encouraging...thanks..

@ceedy:
hey..thanks..i and i apologised coz some ppl take offense at the fact that ur "defiling the art"..
neway...now i will most definitely keep writing and i hope i improve soon...

@rahul:
thanks..

Madhuri said...

dude! i absolutely loved it! the last two lines were brilliant. I dont think you could have expressed it better in english.

annie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
annie said...

Sneha this just touched my heart. Do i have the permission to put this on my blog with ur name?

vitruvian said...

@madhuri:
hey dude...
thanks..i knew it wud...thats y i asked u to read it..

@annie:
hey girl..i'm touched that u like it that much...
sure...please go ahead..by all means...
i can only thank u for it...

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