The Slow Reader

While we read together we reached chapter 11 of the book..

Alone I was a slow reader and covered only 2 more chapters..

The memory of chapter 11 was still fresh in my mind...

But you moved on to chapter 18 all by yourself..

Where chapter 11 became just a part of the book..

When you looked up, you didn't find me there..

It is understandable that you got baffled..

Leave behind the slow reader my friend...

And read on.. you must always move to the next chapter..

Each reader will finish the book in their own time..

Words again...

In a sudden flash of realization that words, whether written, read or spoken are a form of solace for any and everyone!

For some its reading their favourite psalm from the bible, for some its a verse from their favourite poem or a letter from their sweetheart. For a few its the comfort of spewing their emotions on paper or for that matter web space. And yet others feel better when they talk about what they are going through or maybe even talk about anything at all. Most commonly people would need to hear words of comfort.

Its so strange...the power of mere words. Although they affect the actual situation in no way. It is pleasant to drown in the relief that they provide and let them ease away all that's troubling us. But I wonder whether they are just another form of escape from actually facing the situation or do they act as medicine for the lacerations when handling life. Then again I remember... Sometimes its these very words that can leave you scarred for life!

The Window Slightly Ajar...

Dearest,

All this while, we have been estranged, there have been oceans of thoughts i have wanted to share with you. Things I would not normally share with anyone but would feel completely natural to let you know exactly what I am thinking at that precise moment.

Primarily amongst these, is the realization that my past associations, including the one with you, have been so strong that they in some way colour my present and will colour my future relationships as well. In this process of moving ahead, wherein I needed to shut shop entirely, there has remained a window that is ever so slightly ajar. This window in me which remains ajar is enmeshed in a time warp of such intensity that it insists on never letting me be whole again.

Now, emotional ambiguity prevails predominantly! In every action, reaction, relation, elation; there is a void....a vacuum that can't be filled...not even by your presence. I need someone capable enough to withstand the time warp to shut that last window, that's ever so slightly ajar.....Therein lies my salvation...

Yours....

HAPPY NEW YEAR

The 1st of January is just another date on the calendar..So why the hype about it..
Yes..along with the fist 2 columns on the date line even the 3rd column changes...thats why...then shouldn't we celebrate everyday!!
Well...I think we should...Welcome to this celebration which we call life!

but now since we have shown this apartheid b/w the numbers on the date line...
lets flow with it...

Like everyone else, even I dissect my old year for the good and the bad happenings..
relive memories....wish for big good things in the coming year..make umpteen resolutions(which i NEVER keep)...

But what IS special about this day..NEW YEARS EVE is..that...

its an excuse to have special fun(some ppl need it)...
to remember loved ones(why do we need this)...
to hope for a better tomorrow(shouldn't we do this every night)...

we shud live everyday like its new years eve..(minus the extremely WILD partying and wishing all and sundry..)
and our life will BECOME a celebration...

i'd stopped making resolutions last year...
but only keep one thing with me..

MERELY WISHING FOR GOOD THINGS TO HAPPEN IS NOT SUFFICIENT..BE PROACTIVE ABOUT IT!

LOve to all my readers and non-readers and their near and dear ones...
and warm wishes for good health and happiness for atleast the next 365 days...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am necessarily going to have be away from this space till the 10th of January...
See u all after i get back....
TAKE CARE..
CAIO..

EGGS FOR BREAKFAST

When making my breakfast
in the morning today,
I wondered, what it my egg
represents my day?
An omelette, with chopped chillies,
onions and tomatoes,
Is a day when life, keeps you
on youe toes,
A fried egg or two, either sunny
side up or down,
Indicates a happy one or one,
marked with a frown,
An egg minus the yolk, for
the diet conscious folk,
A day of healthy living, lest
we die of a stroke,
An egg that goes wrong, can
be scrambled,
A day when life, is all
in shambles,
But fluffy buttered scrambles,
make a very tasty dish,
And ultimately breakfast in bed,
is now my wish!!

Light is as surely a hoax
as is the adage
"Everything happens for the best";
Negating the ephemeral nature
of things to come;
Misery persists as sure as darkness;
We remain forever,
remain in the uncertain flicker of dusk;
Unavoidably...Inescapably
But sometimes,
Joy like music, transcends
all barriers and emerges
in the form or irridescent bubbles;
Ensconed in these bubbles
we see a pleasantly distorted world;
And finally
All our hypotheses are disproved
and our analysis rndered useless....

Advances...

My circle of friends is very large...I really believe in making friends for life..
They are my priority most of the time..its only in rare moments I selfishly think solely for myself..
Sometimes a lot of the things that i want to or have to do at a personal level remain undone because of this...
Now every human being...goes through phases when they need to be purely with themselves, thus limiting or in some cases entirely cutting of contact with other people..I've been there myself and completely understand the sentiment..
But when 4-5 people in the circle of friends,that is close to u, do that...ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!
then it gets too alarming for coincidence..
Now these are all friends who have nothing to do with each other, so its not something decided amongst them...I haven't really had fights with any of them lately...so baffled and stumped i was..that when realization of this situation dawned..
My First reaction: Have I changed?? Or done something wrong?? And what am I supposed to read into this??
but slowly on reasoning, analysis, confrontation and reassurances...
IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!!
(*What a relief!!*)
I respect what each one of them is doing or has to do..each for their own reasons...
but it had left a pocket of vacuum in my life...
So this is one time that I'm gonna be selfish and wish that they all just come back soon!!
Am really missing them all!!

ADVANCES



i have,
myriad questions,
unanswered they remain;
i have,
all emotions bared,
like a mollusk u remain;
i have,
tried all i could,
unyielding u remain;
i have,
made silence my ally,
but ever loyal to u it remains;
i have,
a companion tried to be,
stubbornly alone u remain;
i have,
a hand toward extended,
like always u treat it with disdain!
-Sneha

Your take on love....

Recently, a friend of mine put up a question for me in one of his blog posts...
It simply said...

ur take on love..........


and I replied thus....

vitruvian said...

my take on love...i'm sure v've spoken on the subject like a zillion times...
but..hmmm..
heres an ad hoc rhyme..

in my human eyes..
through lifetimes..
the state of love varies...

to my innocent mind..
in a bygone time..
love was like a quintessential lea...

to my hardened heart...
in a then stark life..
love was like a turbulent sea...

to my inexperienced mind..
in the current moment..
love is like an entity..

its boundaries blurred yet clear...
the sole reprieve yet my greatest fear...
pain which seems like exquisite joy...
a confused lie which i deny!

i hope that answers ur question...

Now for my readers...answer me this...

ur take on love..........

My lethargy, abbeted by my PC crashing...I have been away for quite a while now...
And I really haven't had anything specific to do these vacations..
Most of my batch mates have spent their vacation in the college, trying for the campus placements...which I, unfortunately am not eligible by the margin of "0.73%"...which really bites at times....but I'm being optimistic as always and not allowing that "little" hurdle to upset my vacation...
So I can truthfully say--I've enjoyed as much as was possible!
I didn't really do any blog worthy things...
Just the usual...
=caught up with friends....(Lunches..dinners..same old, same old)

=saw a few movies...(Shrek3,Plup Fiction,Chini Kum,Bheja Fry)

=read loads of books...(I really liked "Social Intellegence" by Daniel Goleman... Train to Pakistan, Inheritance of Loss, The Smile of Murugan ..to name a few...)

=had a great time with my extended family...my cousins, aunts, uncles...its rare in todays pace of life to have the kind of time to bond, as we did in the last few days..

=went an chopped my hair today...made it from knee length to waist length!!

=Ya..the best thing...I attended a music program of Ustaad Ghulam Ali Khan..
He has come down to India after a long hiatus..the concert was brilliant..it was one of the best things thats happened all vacation...

I generally enjoy plenty of time on my hands...to think about "nothing in particular" and mull over things...but this is the first time in my life when "I've hated my thought processes...disagreed vehemently with myself....and all that thinking just left me distraught...

Am just waiting for my results to come and college to begin so I'll have work to occupy my mind with...

Am awating Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, to hit the screens and the Deathly Hallows , to hit the stores..

Waiting...ultimately just waiting for everything!!

TAGGED...

Tagging is one of the few concepts of blogsphere which i didnt quite understand....not that there's actually much to it...
What i don't understand is the pleasure of tagging people...Maybe now that I'm tagged myself, I'll finally figure the pleasure people get with this seemingly unremarkable activity...
So thanks Akanksha for tagging me...
Now as per the rules I have to write 8 random facts about myself...

1.)I'm a total CHATTERBOX...thats the first thing anyone says if asked to describe me..I can strike up conversations with absolute strangers as well...and u can find me on the phone a LOT of the time..

2.)I seem to have a million friends and am hardly ever alone...but actually what I love most is SOLITUDE..

3.)Am damn psychotic a lot of the time...Given to absolute randomness...I wonder how people put up with me ;)

4.)I absolutely love to write...I know that's like a d'uh, considering that I blog...but really...i can loose myself anywhere when I'm writing and I get my inspiration in the weirdest places...for instance...the bathroom...bombay's famous BEST buses are one of the all time favorite places...

5.)I absolutely love to paint....its one time when i resent any kind of human interference....My mom's learnt over the years that, I'm a live DO NOT DISTURB sign at such times...

6.)I used to be a total cynic about romance, love and the likes..But eventually and unfortunately, the bug caught up with me...I surprised myself with the seemingly unbounded limits of my new found corniness..lol...

7.)I'm totally addicted to blogging...I spend nearly 2 hrs online everyday..just blogging!!!I am already trying to restrain myself on blogsphere though i have been here for hardly 2 months...

8.)I have really really long hair...It nearly goes down till my knees now...And though i behave quite churlish when my friends and relatives..and even strangers for that matter admire it and fuss over it...I secretly revel in all the attention...I suppose thats quite bad..but whatever a girl's gotta act pricey sometime rite!!

Ok..now thats quite enough about myself....and NOW i get to TAG others!!
So heres the list of people I'm tagging:
Alok
Ankur
Gopal
Sans
Ruma
Nisha
Curryegg
Hershey
Jeya Anand
These in turn have to tag 8 ppl...ok this was not bad...adios ppl..
P.S:But honestly still cant see what the BIG deal about tagging is?? But was good to be tagged once i guess..

WORDS

In the map of human history, pattern recognition in the fabric of life started with written documentation. Considering the age of our planet ‘Earth’, the life of human history has been very small indeed and WRITING is one of the greatest inventions. It IS power…power to express, power to influence, power to share, power to record…
It is also another thing- an art. Writing as an art has been prevalent since the earliest times. The beauty, meaning and secrets that WORDS hold are comparable to none other. The power of words is real, yet not substantial enough in this illiterate world, where change is inflicted by people who don’t know the value of these words.Going away from the technicalities, in the course of life i have realised that SCILENCE and INCOHERENT WORDS can wreck more havoc than the most eloquent of speeches…Now I consider my self blessed with the gift of gab..but there came a time when these Words failed me as well....Here's how:Words are usually my friends,I can use them to express anything,and also sometimes use them to my end;But now they seem useless,Shallow and a means to no end;They are not enough to express my care,And entirely inadequate for my despair.

LIFE IS ABOVE IT ALL....

In this harmonic chaos and patterned jumble of everyday that we call human life, I have observed one thing common to all- A REASON..

A reason to live, A reason to love;
A reason to try, A reason to cry;
Without a reason its all a lie.

It is this reason that marks the difference between 'living life' and 'simply existing'. A reason is what gives our life its quality. Each one is entitled to possess a different set od reasons, which may vary with time and circumstance. This reason for some may be material, for some emotional, for some spiritual and for some etheral.
Now at this point, most would try to figure in some corner of their mind.."What is my reason??..that which give my life its quality". And to find out, again most. I'm sure, went the route of.."What is it that my life is meaningless without??"..not surprisingly most even come up with an answer--music, football, work, a goal, cricket and more often than not, a person.
But what I think is...though this reason to live is extremely important..
LIFE IS ABOVE IT ALL....
The loss, the heartbreak, the tragedy, the revelations, the petty issues, the pithy joys.. all of it....
Its all constant..but the only constant thing is LIFE.
Its just that the parameters change the direction, the reason, the quality..while life still goes on...
You can reacquire material possessions find a new love, overcome loss and tragedy, accept revelations..... Then at the end of it RE-EMERGE living life with a new reason, just proving that...
LIFE IS ABOVE IT AL...