The Window Slightly Ajar...

Dearest,

All this while, we have been estranged, there have been oceans of thoughts i have wanted to share with you. Things I would not normally share with anyone but would feel completely natural to let you know exactly what I am thinking at that precise moment.

Primarily amongst these, is the realization that my past associations, including the one with you, have been so strong that they in some way colour my present and will colour my future relationships as well. In this process of moving ahead, wherein I needed to shut shop entirely, there has remained a window that is ever so slightly ajar. This window in me which remains ajar is enmeshed in a time warp of such intensity that it insists on never letting me be whole again.

Now, emotional ambiguity prevails predominantly! In every action, reaction, relation, elation; there is a void....a vacuum that can't be filled...not even by your presence. I need someone capable enough to withstand the time warp to shut that last window, that's ever so slightly ajar.....Therein lies my salvation...

Yours....

THANK YOUS...

Firstly...HI guys..
I'M BACK!!

i just wanted to dedicate a post thanking all the people who take out the time to read this blog and leave comments on my erratic rants...

your view..your time and encouragement are very valuable to me...

this year is for me one of the most crucial of my life...i really hope i can see it through successfully...

Cheers all!!!

HOPE

i was just cleaning out my book shelf when i came across my very FIRST book in which I wrote poems...
here's my favorite one out of those...
this is about 8 years ago...and so its sort of kiddish...
but love it because its my first published work...in my school magazine... :) :D
i was damn proud of myself...

neway..here it is...

HOPE

There is beauty in the sunset,

There is beauty in the dawn,

One makes you think of what has been,

The other leads you on,

So while you enjoy these precious hours,

Let no regrets cloud your mind,

There's still the future bright with hope,

And many a rainbow to find.

HERO

I believe that there is a HERO in all of us.
This is because, according to me,
"To do the right thing, even when no one is watching, simply because it is the right thing to do is heroic."

This sounds simple enough, but ask yourselves,
how many would work as well if it were not for appraisals..
how many would study as well if it weren't for competitive and relative grading...

Begin by redefining a SUCCESSFUL LIFE..
Success lies in the quality you can see and feel in your own life, not, what others see in your life.

It is difficult to stick to the good path, to make this difference in your own life, simply because its right. We need to keep a constant check on ourselves, our life and other path to the future.

So the average man who does the right thing and is happy in his life qualifies as -my HERO.
The man
Who does his job well irrespective of whether or not his boos is looking,
Who plays with his kids, whether or not anyone is watching and
Who showers his love and lust only on his wife..

I think even such a person is a hero in life..

MAYBE

In this journey of life,
Walking on the road of time;

Somewhere down the lane we met,
Towards a destination ours paths were set;

Helping one another on the way,
Blossomed a friendship, meant to stay;

But the road suddenly came to a fork,
Directions in which life sent us broke;

The distance brought in a gap,
In the friendship, as well as the road map;

So now we go our separate ways,
The journey spanning more than just days;

But, I'm still hoping our paths will mend,

Somewhere before our journey's end.

There's No Hope

I came across this recently...and it touched a chord somewhere...

There's No Hope


you don't even know the pain i feel
when i start to question what is real
i know you're the cause
my lust for you gnaws
its way, through my brain
and i'm here, alone standing
by myself, with tears of understanding
rolling down my cheeks

this time i'm really confused
about what i should do
i have this fear of never being satisfied
i can't find stable happiness,
i've tried and tried ,
this isn't easy,

i'm the butt of my own joke,

i want some affection, this is all i hope

but now i know my bended
heart won't be mended
by your love....
no longer will i cry
or ask for help from up above
and i'll live my life until i die
wondering if i'll ever be satisfied
it's not easy being the butt of your own joke
i want some affection, this is all i hope

-Derek del Barrio