Wednesday, February 06, 2008

I've fucking been torn apart!!

I'd come across this review site- Ask And Ye Shall Receive, when Neo got his blog reviewed.
So I decided to submit my blog as well. Not just for kicks but because I genuinely want to try to take it to the next level.
I know that, no one person's opinion is the be all and end all of the world, but for me EACH ONE COUNTS!
So here goes:-


She's giving me a toothache
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
There was a time, many, many years ago, when I had a Molly Ringwald perm and 20 pairs of Guess jeans and wore white Keds with everything. I made mix tapes of slow songs from the radio and wrote heartfelt and weepy poetry. I sent rambling notes to friends with cutesy acronyms (KIT, FFE, BFF) and used hearts to punctuate my exclamation points.

Because I was that girl once upon a time, it makes it hard to slam Sneha from Life is Above it All. Oh, she's quite a bit older than I was during the time I'm remembering, and she's a good deal smarter than I was, but that core of innocent youth remains. I don't want to squash that earnest hopefulness.

It's not that this is a hot mess. It's just... young. And fluffy.

To start with she's managed to include two of my pet peeves. There's a huge ass banner that takes up the entire page and I have to scroll for ages to get to content. Why do people do this? Why? Next, she uses ellipses constantly. Look, y'all. There's a time and place for these popular little dots: to indicate the removal of text, to indicate a thought trailing off, or to indicate a pause in speech. And that's about it folks. Overuse can be extremely annoying to read.

Some more problems? Lots and lots of poetry. Sappy, angsty poetry. It's not for me. Some people enjoy it, I'm sure, but I can't get into it. Especially rhyming poetry.

Also, the subtitle portion in the banner means absolutely nothing to me. "Emotion is not a football." What? I'm sure there's a cultural disconnect here as she's Indian and I'm American, but I can't for the life of me understand what she's getting at. And unfortunately that happens a lot for me with this writing. Oh, she's smart. No doubt. And kind and good and sweet and hard-working. But unfortunately for me this blog boils down to a lot of words on a screen. And not much else.

This is a young girl's diary, a smattering of thoughts and poems and daily experiences that, while meaningful to her and her friends, does not lend itself to wider consumption. And maybe that's fine. Maybe that's all she wants. But by submitting her site to be reviewed my guess is maybe she's ready for more. If that's the case, some suggestions:

Tighten up. Edit. Get rid of the ellipses, use proper spacing around punctuation, refrain from using cutesy IM-speak (ur, u, 2, shud, cuz, randomly capped and lowercase words, etc.). Don't write in all lowercase -- e.e. cummings can get away with it, you can't. Write for yourself but consider your audience. What do we want to know? Do we want to read paragraphs and paragraphs of your daily experiences? No, absolutely not. Find something interesting to write about. Boil it down, find the good bits, wrap it up in a bow, be concise.

Find your voice -- right now you're one of thousands of sweet young girls with nothing much to say. What makes you different? What do you have to say? Where is your individuality? I read your whole blog, and I know there's more you're not sharing: you're observant and insightful and you have a charming spirit. But it's flat on the screen. There's no dimension.

Right now it's a



but don't give up. Get cracking on my suggestions and let's see where you end up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, the rating means-
We meant to rate you, really we did, but we fell asleep reading your shit. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. snore.

Oh well!! Nothing lost!

13 comments:

Ashu said...

just forget this,this is crappppy, u tooo goood sweetie

Nothingman said...

well...what were you expecting from those people :P they do this for breakfast and dinner :D so chill and i must say, you wanna take it to another level? the girl gave some very good suggestions!

:)

Cheers!

N

d SINNER!!! said...

hehhhee...i gt a Super Meh...

cheers!!!

J E E V Y said...

I have heard lots about this shitty site!
just dont give a damn! just do what ur doing! :)
and stop submitting ur site for reviews from such people!
they know nothing!

-Jeevy

gunj said...

i feel like sendin my site to b reviewd nw!! :D

D said...

You know the review is critical and not, at the same time. Your critic seems to empathise with you. Seeing what they did to Intoxicated Soul, I'd say you've been lucky!

Standbymind said...

These guys are damn :O

U r awesome..go on!

cheers!!

vitruvian said...

@all:
firstly a thank u in general coz u've all been supportive in ur comments and a blog is made by its readers as much as its author...

@ashu:
thats a sweet thing to say...
*hugs*

@N:
i kno...i'm not at all complaining..the title of the post is simply their url...
and i agree she has given good suggestions, a few of whivh I intend to follow.

@DSinner:
lol..right back at ya man!

@jeevy:
i will agree with u till the extent that..their opinion is not ALL...but i just wanted to see what they thought that y i submitted it...
thanks for the vote of confidence dude...
cheers!

@gunj:
u do that..its actually fun to hear what they have to say...irrespective of whether its critical or nice...

@D:
I kno...completely agree with u...
and also shes given me some decent suggestions...

@Standbymind:
thanks so much!!
and right back at ya!!

dharmabum said...

hehe, they sure did tear you to pieces. but well, if u like to write, then thats what matters the most.

i still haven't had the gall to submit my blog to them :)

Shawn said...

i agree a 100% with the review...i mean she has laid the facts bare...y submit such a blog for a review...u thot ud get 'unpolished gem' or something?!?!??

Anonymous said...

is porn the only winner during credit crunch?

Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?

somebody said...

酒店經紀人,菲梵酒店經紀,酒店經紀,禮服酒店上班,酒店小姐,便服酒店經紀,酒店打工,酒店寒假打工,酒店經紀,酒店經紀,專業酒店經紀,合法酒店經紀,酒店暑假打工,酒店兼職,便服酒店工作,酒店打工經紀,制服酒店經紀,專業酒店經紀,合法酒店經紀,酒店暑假打工,酒店兼職,便服酒店工作,酒店打工,酒店經紀,制服酒店經紀,酒店經紀