Peace of Paper

Letters to Appa

2011-08-25T16:34:00.000+05:30

Author: Deepa Shankar. Link:http://v4vetti.blogspot.com/2010/08/from-new-york-with-love.html
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Dearest Appa,

27th Jan' 1965

Hope this letter finds you, Amma, Raji and Seenu in good health. The weather here in New York City is icy cold. But Avar sollraar - I have missed this winter's biting cold. I still wish I had seen the snow…But then, I still wish I had not left Trichy at all. I do miss Trichy, Appa. You, Amma, Raji, Seenu, pakkatthaathu Rama, Vikatan, Ucchi Pillaiyaar Koil, filter coffee, Holy Cross College, the Physics Department and of course Sakthi. I know you wish I hadn't brought his name in this letter. But not to worry Appa, I understand that you got me married to Visu because you thought it was best for your daughter. I still remember Amma wiping her silent tears with her madisaar thalappu and you shouting at me the day I told you about Sakthi. Later, when the initial shock wore off you patiently listed umpteen reasons why I should not marry Sakthi. I agree Appa, that 20 is too young to decide, that Raji and Seenu would have been affected greatly by my 'mistake', the Agrahaaram would have scoffed at you…a meat eater was not a good match for someone who had never even tasted onion and garlic. The reasons were innumerous. I knew you'd still have objected and offered other reasons even if he had become a Dhigambara monk. Visu on the other hand, wore a poonal, he is the son of Neelakanta Sastri, an Engineer and he researched about computers which is what made you jump for this alliance. Am not complaining Appa, Visu is a nice man. Tell Amma that I could not try her kozhakkattai recipe this Pongal because coconuts were too expensive and Avar nenacchar that it was ridiculous. Anyway, we went out on Sankaranthi day and dined out. He thought it would be a good idea to invite the Chatterjees also. But I didn't speak Bengali and Mrs.Chatterjee spoke English in an accent that comes with living years in America. Hence I made myself busy with the menu card. They ordered various species of fish, shrimp and a lot more of items I had never seen in my life. I ordered orange juice and a sandwich. The other diners thought it was queer coming to a seafood restaurant and settling for a sandwich. That day, I learnt that Avar prefer pannradhu beef, pork, bacon and seafood. Do you know, Appa…Sakthi gave up meat because of me? I didn't ask, he just did. But then, Sakthi is not Neelakanta Sastri's son and that made it imposible for Subramania Iyer's daughter Kalyani to marry him. I will keep you posted on what happens here. I don't think I can make it to Seenu's Upanayanam. Tell Amma not to get me a pattu podavai for the poonal, I don't use them here. I wore it once and felt like a clown here.

Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.

Dearest Appa,

20th Oct' 1968

We are fine here. Gautam is speaking his first words and I swear they sounded like 'Dosai'. But Visu claims it's just gibberish. From your previous letter, I gather that pakkathatthu Rama is married and settled in Jamshedpur. Nice to know that. Please find out her address from Saarada maami and write it to me. I want to keep in touch with her. I hope Raji is happy with her husband in Madras. I spoke to her last month, great to know that she has a phone. Do tell Seenu to study well and prepare for his school final exams. Raji also told me that Sakthi is married now. I wish him good luck, but I could not convey the message to him. Raji refused to be the messenger and I know you have severed ties with Sakthi's father, your long term friend Sankaravel, thanks to me. I hear his wife is his cousin…He must have succumbed to his mother's wishes. How did Avani Avittam go? Visu's mother gave me a bunch of new poonals for Avani Avittam but Visu was in Boston that day. He wouldn't have used it anyway, I haven't seen him wear one in the last three years. Gautam is now playing with the spool of thread - mere thread it is, what else can I call it? Gautam will not even know what it signifies, I guess. Visu is making sure Gautam grows up listening to English only. He says it will make his life easier. But I do read out passages from Ponniyin Selvan and Bharathiyaar's poetry when I am alone with him. It's more of reading to myself, I guess. I actually got that poetry book as a present from Sakthi, it still has his scrawling signature in the first page. By the way, Visu saw that book and asked me about Sakthi, I told him. Hold your breath Appa, he didn't throw me out of the house. He is a good man, no question. He said it is okay and that he doesn't mind. And then he told me of his American girlfriend whom he was once in love with, when he first reached America - Amy, a fellow Researcher who was in a brief relationship with Visu when she was in New York. They lived together for 3 months and decided against marriage, somehow. Amy once dropped home when she was in New York. Nice lady, she was. Ask Amma to send me Sambar Podi for this whole year. My friend Sudha is coming to Madras next week. Ask Seenu to catch the Rockfort Express and give it to her. I will collect it from her here.

Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.

Dearest Appa,

3rd June' 1974

We have arrived here safely. After two months in India, I find it hard to adjust back to normal life here. Gautam and Ranjana demand vadai, paayasam and vaazhai ilai here. Visu's relieved to be back in America. I left a set of my books there. If it's not in Trichy it must be in Visu's parents' place. If you find them, safeguard them until my next trip. They mean a lot to me since they were gifts from Sakthi. By the way, Appa, I found out Sakthi's present address in Madras from Rama and Saarada maami. I wrote to him. I am extremely proud to know that Dr.Sakthivel is a cardiologist much in demand there in Madras. He was thrilled to hear from me after so long. You know what he has named his daughters? Kalyani and Raagamaalika. He called me. You know what, he's still a practising vegetarian, Appa. He didn't revert back just because he lost me…He asked me if I still sang and whether Gautam and Ranjana could sing. I could see a proud father in him, when he claimed his daughters could sing upto Ra ra Venu Gopala. That's when I remembered that I was once a good singer. I wonder why I stopped singing, wonder why I never exposed the kids to Music and Dance. But then, I realize that I had buried all that deep inside me when I left Trichy; after bidding farewell to my best Rasika, actually. Sakthi. After the call, I tried singing 'Kurai Onrum Illai'. I could not rquite reach Charanam, because of the lack of practice and more importantly because of the tears that filmed my eyes and the constriction in my throat. I sang to Visu and the kids one of these days. Though Gautam was impressed, father and daughter could not just wait for me to finish! By the way, next time some friend comes to India, send me a Sruthi Box. I would like to start singing again.

Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.

Dearest Appa,

14th Aug' 1978

Just back after our tour to California. Find our photos, picture postcards attached herewith. After you are done with showing all family members, relatives, friends and neighbours, pass them to Visu's parents. It was a welcome break for the four of us. But I missed my paattu class students all along and was happy to resume the classes again last evening. Did I mention in my previous letter, before we left on the tour - I finally got my driving license here. I sent a few photos to Sakthi too. He has sent me quite a few records and cassettes. I loved it! I'm reminded of AIR, almost! I'm circulating them among my friends too. And of course, playing them for my students too. They are picking up beautifully. Funny news is, I, a Tamilian, is teaching Telugu and Sanskrit kritis to a cross section of Tamil, Malayalam, Kannada,Telugu, Marathi, Bengali students in an English speaking nation. The music sessions have resulted in a reborn Kalyani, Appa. Thanks to Sakthi, really. I would have never taken it up had it not been for his reminder. I am now thinking of what life would have been like if I had indeed married him. I would have of course lost you and Amma. But right now, with this life in America, Visu and these monthly letters to you, Rama, Raji and Seenu what have i gained? I don't find an answer, Appa. Neither do I think I ever will. Again, as I have always reiterated, Visu is a good man, no complaints there. He is every bit the son in law you wanted. Researcher, American Post Graduate Degree holder, a dutiful husband and father, earning a comfortable income. I know it is too much to ask for anything else. That is a fantasy I left midway in my life…Once upon a time in Trichy with someone else.

Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.

Dearest Appa,

14th Apr' 1984

Met Dr.Sakthivel after 19 years…He had come to New York for business purposes and paid me a visit. Visu and the kids welcomed him home with great pleasure. And they liked him too. In fact, they did most of the talking initially. And of course, he got me a whole load of books, cassettes, Mysore Paak and lots more.

Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.

Dearest Appa,

20th Jan' 1990

I just went through all these letters lying in my closet draw for years together. These are letters I started writing to you and then decided not to post. For obvious reasons. I could not mention Sakthi to you even though I was itching to. Not because I was afraid to invite your wrath. I just did not have the heart to hurt you, I know these letters would have hurt you. Because deep inside, I know you were disturbed - You knew Sakthi was a good man, you knew he was a man of substance, yet you didn't want to go further. Society, I know. Family…I know…And all these letters would have only wounded you more. Today 2 years after your death, and 6 months after Dr.Sakthivel's untimely death in a road accident, I somehow felt like re-reading all these letters. To me, all these unstamped, unposted letters mean a life that could have been.

Kalyani Viswanathan.

Note: "Avar" is a respectful "him".

Mortality

2011-07-22T20:22:00.002+05:30

The mortality of life hits you at the most unexpected moments... As I sat idling away at my computer trying to follow the news of the blasts in Mumbai, I got the news of someone I whom I had spoken to just hours previously pass away in Mumbai. My first assumption was that it was in the blast that this person had lost their life but to my enormous surprise it was a natural death! The heart attack - which seems to strike at any age these days.

What struck me most about this scenario was that even in the aberration of terrorism which causes death... death still remains a natural phenomenon!

This in no way detracts from the gravity of either the terrorist attack or the death but with an ailing grandmother and granduncle its something that does stays forbiddingly close to the mind and hence the resignation to the naturalness of the phenomenon.

Scream!!

2011-06-01T02:26:00.002+05:30

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I Belong

2011-05-06T13:10:00.002+05:30

Entering her new world for the first time, she gasped, a sharp intake of breath; in fear that she might wake up and find that this is all a dream. But the lab was real and to Shiela immensely beautiful. Spartan, surgically clean and wildly futuristic – bathed in luminous white work lights there were gleaming work areas, state-of-the-art equipment and most of all brilliant, brilliant people working away at their stations.

Somewhere on the floor Bryan Adams crooned softly from a cell phone ringer -

‘Let nothing come between this and me,

‘Cause everything I want – is everything that’s here’
“Oh yeah baby! Definitely all here!”

‘This place is paradise – it’s the place I call home’

“My new home...” her eyes gleamed.

Mrs. Mather, the lab director, was giving them, the batch of newbies, the Grand Induction Tour.
Mrs. Mather had short, cropped, chestnut hair, sensible pumps and surprisingly glasses that
screamed Prada with a deep, rich voice; far from the frump was expecting, drawing from the image of Mrs. Mather’s counterparts back home.

“And this is the neo-physics section, completely Mr. Gupta’s domain. Marion and Julio – those there, are your stations. Miss. Newson will be your mentor.” Mrs. Mather ploughed on through the tour and allocations.

“And here we have the, entrance to the Chemistry wing where Mme. Scherbatsky rules.”

“Ah Chemistry!” Shiela loved everything about Chemistry, right from the sound of it, to its ever evolving nature; just as much as she loved the man from whom she had inherited this love, Appa, her father.

She thought back to the cataclysmic argument a year ago – Strains of the Cranberries from her brother’s new Bose speakers were punctuating their argument.

“With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.”

“Appa, I really want to go! It’s a great opportunity! The scope for research here in India has become
so limited, it’s almost meaningless.

“Oops!” she had thought immediately; “Now I’ve had it.”

“Are you suggesting that my work is meaningless?” her father roared. She wasn’t able to find the words to explain herself. After what seemed like an interminable pause he said, “It’s your life Shiela.” Turned and walked out of the room.

She was brought back to the present with Mrs. Mather’s deep voice smiling at her, “And Shiela Pundit, you’ve got lab C with Mme. Scherbatsky herself. Lucky you!”

While Dolores O'Riordan was still screeching from her brother’s room,

“But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,”

Concealer

2011-05-06T13:04:00.002+05:30

She sat in front of the dressing table and unscrewed the concealer, the same brand that she had been using for the last 5 years.She poured out the the ususal copious amounts of concealer and began to carefully apply the liquid on her face.

Remembering back to the day of her wedding when she, who had always been envied for her beauty and her flawless complexion, didn't require any of this unsavoury stuff. She now sat with intense concentration to hide that very skin behind a clayey concealer. She remembered her wedding day nearly 5 years back - the beautician was amazed to see a bride so beautiful without the bridal paraphanelia.It was her face that had captured the attention and consequently the heart of her future husband.

This beauty which she was once so proud of was today the bane of her life. The challenge to hide her pain and still measure up to the standards of the world had become a matter of routine for her.Touching up the makeup she realized this careful regimen for her had now become a sad necessity.

Just as she finished and turned, the pallu of her sari caught on the bottle and it crashed to the ground. She saw the mess caused by the gooey liquid which was for her; not a whim, but a necessity. Suddenly she found herself crying, the broken pieces of glass reflecting her state of mind and something in her snapped and she thought, "Till when will I paint away the streaks of pain??"

She walked into the bathroom and washed away all her makeup to expose her peaches and cream marred by black and purple bruises. Purposefully, she picked up her handbag and strode out of her home into the world without her concealer!

This was the first step in the fight to get her life back!

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I had written this a long while back. Original Location:

http://idlichutney.blogspot.com/2008/12/concealer.html

Time

2011-05-05T16:18:00.000+05:30

The earphones fit perfectly for a change, snugly, warm and comforting in my ears.

I reached into my pocket and turned up the volume of my iPod. Dido began to sing a little louder than one second ago.

'no white flag, above my door'

oh no baby, I thought, no white flag.

'...go down with the ship...'

indeed you will, and so will I.

Walking through the aisle, I looked at the passengers on both sides. They stared back mat me scared, faces pale and it struck me a little funny. I positioned myself and began my performance, I'd rehearsed my lines well and knew I would kill it. I realised though, that I was talking a bit too loudly, like headphon'ed' people normally do.

Same can be said true for people with 2 Kg RDX trapped on their bodies. One of my two brothers was done with the praying and he tapped me on the shoulder saying that it was my turn.

I walked into the pilot's cabin and sat in the co-pilot's chair. I smiled at the pilot's blood streaked face which radiated hate at me like a brilliant heater, the kinds we could ony dream of back home on cold winter nights. I sat there looking at the clouds, Strato Cumuls the passanger next to me had called them and the cities standing tall and far far away.

Not for long though.

I did not pray, just skipped to my next favorite song. The clock at my belt slowly ticked to blasting point.

Just enough time to squeeze in Floyd.....'Time'.

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I had written this a long while back. Original Location: http://idlichutney.blogspot.com/2008/12/time.html

The new piece of paper for peace

2011-01-06T03:15:00.001+05:30

Another year has gone by. And what an eventful year it was! For those you have B-school interviews lined up...there is a minimum of an event a month in the bygone year to acquaint yourself with. I'll probably do a post on that summarizing everything, since I'm hopefully going to have some interviews coming my way as well.

On a more personal note the year was devastatingly eventful and I'm turning back to this space, my blog, for some solace, strength and the will to stand and re-build again.

In some matters, prior experience just makes the situation worse because you know that this is not the worst there is and that it will be a long while before the sun will shine again.

Without anymore moroseness... here's a wish for a good year in life, in every which way.

The hope for dreams to finally materialize....to win friends back....and as always...to overhaul and better the self.

The healing lies in silence of the mind and madness of the words...

Drafts...

2010-06-02T11:59:00.000+05:30

Some of the posts I initiated but never completed -

*Oxymoron

Life had always been good to young Lauralie, a swanky apartment in Manhattan, parents as normal as they get - a call twice a week and her imminent matrimony, or the lack of it, was the only issue they had, a job she enjoyed and friends who never gave up on her. Walking the streets of Manhattan by night was a far more appealing option

*Old Girl...Old City...

Watching a movie has always been an engaging movie for me as irrespective of how abominable the movie might turn out to be I try to live it and relate to the characters while watching it (even the absurd comedies...my imagination is pretty crazy!)

*Growing Up..

Growing up is something you would probably expect a teenager to be doing; but its actually something we all need to be doing each minute. We should not just be "growing older" we should be "growing up"!

Every day in a small way a part of me grows older; but its up to me to see that this part is now also wiser and more at peace with the world. On the suggestion of a friend, Madhuri, I read this piece called Quarter Life Crises. This, my friends, seems to be the absolute flavour of the season, we lot being(me and most of the people I know) being in their early twenty-somethings.

*Untitled

Its strange sometimes how we click with certain people without an iota in common apart from circumstance and that these equations end up lasting a long long time to come. *touches wood*

I have always been greatful for the friends I've had and have and feel glad that there will be more people that will come along to enrich my life.

We have also now come a long way from the traditional methods of making friends

*3 Part Dream

The Incomplete Dream…

Even in life have I not seen a vision so vivid, as when I saw her walking by me in my deepest REM cycle of that glorious afternoon! All dressed in white with a scarf in the color of the sky, and

What matters...

2010-04-21T23:31:00.000+05:30

It’s not the words but people who write them that matter,

It’s not the words but from whose mouth they are uttered,

It’s not the kisses but the heart from where the love springs,

It’s not the kisses but whether they make your lover sing,

It’s not the time but with whom it is spent whilst it flies,

It’s not the time but till when you can bide your anguished cries.

Words again...

2010-02-21T22:03:00.002+05:30

In a sudden flash of realization that words, whether written, read or spoken are a form of solace for any and everyone!

For some its reading their favourite psalm from the bible, for some its a verse from their favourite poem or a letter from their sweetheart. For a few its the comfort of spewing their emotions on paper or for that matter web space. And yet others feel better when they talk about what they are going through or maybe even talk about anything at all. Most commonly people would need to hear words of comfort.

Its so strange...the power of mere words. Although they affect the actual situation in no way. It is pleasant to drown in the relief that they provide and let them ease away all that's troubling us. But I wonder whether they are just another form of escape from actually facing the situation or do they act as medicine for the lacerations when handling life. Then again I remember... Sometimes its these very words that can leave you scarred for life!

Just us...

2009-12-12T11:46:00.004+05:30

A thousand words are not enough for all that I want to say to you,

Eternity is not long enough for the time I want to spend with you,

But in this world where those things are hard to come by,

I will be happy with but a smile and and a moment where our eyes speak...

pal..

2009-10-13T17:29:00.000+05:30

aisi kuch baatein hai jo jaan kar bi anjaani hai..

aise kuch shaqs jo anjaan hai par pehchaane hai..

aise hi kuch pal jo apne hai...fir bhi begaane hai..

Khamoshi..

2009-10-09T01:57:00.004+05:30

Khamoshiyon ko padhne ki jurrat na ki humne,

Hichkichahat ne thaam rakha tha mann ko,

Zabaan toh sambhal gayi humse,

Dil anjaane mein phisal gaya...

Experience..

2009-10-08T13:37:00.004+05:30

Age and experience are supposed to make us wiser...
But from what I see they just make us bitter, cynical or nostalgic...
*sigh*

Wake Up Sid

2009-10-07T02:51:00.003+05:30

An extremely refreshing urban romance in the midst of the transition in the life of a boy who finally assumes his responsibilities and becomes a man. The character sketches were perfectly cast and brilliantly executed, with - Supriya Pathak as the shyly doting mother, Anupam Kher as the disappointed father, Ranbir Kapoor as the spoilt brat of a son and Konkona Sen as the strong-willed girl next door, who wants to make it on her own right.

The chemistry between Konkona Sen and Ranbir Kapoor is uniquely charming and immediately strikes a chord! The seamless romance which manifests in the proceedings of the film itself keeps you smiling throughout the movie.

Great pictorial tribute to Mumbai, the erstwhile Bombay. Despite this, the flavour of the experience is tainted in the fact that objections can be raised on trivial issues such as using the older version of the city's name in a couple of dialogs.

All in all a good watch...2 and a half hours well spent...

A brilliant song from the movie....

The Window Slightly Ajar...

2009-10-07T02:44:00.000+05:30

Dearest,

All this while, we have been estranged, there have been oceans of thoughts i have wanted to share with you. Things I would not normally share with anyone but would feel completely natural to let you know exactly what I am thinking at that precise moment.

Primarily amongst these, is the realization that my past associations, including the one with you, have been so strong that they in some way colour my present and will colour my future relationships as well. In this process of moving ahead, wherein I needed to shut shop entirely, there has remained a window that is ever so slightly ajar. This window in me which remains ajar is enmeshed in a time warp of such intensity that it insists on never letting me be whole again.

Now, emotional ambiguity prevails predominantly! In every action, reaction, relation, elation; there is a void....a vacuum that can't be filled...not even by your presence. I need someone capable enough to withstand the time warp to shut that last window, that's ever so slightly ajar.....Therein lies my salvation...

Yours....

My friend, Sancho

2009-09-12T18:48:00.004+05:30

Its not the greatest literary achievement, but in the midst of an average story, Varma has hidden some amazing gems, that make me want to see where he can take his next book.

A few brillant pieces from Amit Varma's debut "My Friend, Sancho"....

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In the red corner, Heart. In the blue corner, Brain. The bell rings. Brain steps out and weaves in a cerebral manner, footwork assured, technique impeccable. Heart, saunters out, belches and swings wildly. A few seconds later, Brain is on the floor, trying to breathe. Heart, like a WWF wrestler, climbs onto the ropes at the side of the ring and dives onto Brain, elbow first. Brain goes into coma. Heart raises arms triumphant over an enemy that never had a chance in the first place.

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My house was a mess, as it always is: some mornings I wake up and have trouble finding myself. Abir, Abir, I shout, as I go from room to room, No success. Then I go through the day feeling disjointed, and when I finally do find myself, it’s when I wasn’t looking. Whatever.

Also has a good blog -- worth a read >> India Uncut

Next Life by Woody Allen

2008-12-16T09:51:00.002+05:30

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then

when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous,

then you are ready for high school.

You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities; you
become a baby until you are born.

And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and

room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then...

Voila!
.
.
.

You finish off as an orgasm!

I rest my case!!!
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This makes more sense than anything I've ever read!

Conclusion....

2008-12-05T00:58:00.001+05:30

A snippet which ended an era in my life....

Me: Truth of life personified...
"We make them cry who care for us,
we cry for them who will never care for us,
and we care for them who will never cry for us"

He: "Never be sad for missing whatever you expected..
instead be happy that God made you realize that
those expectations weren't worth your life"
Seems true enough i guess...bye!

Me: If only it was....Bye!

He: It always is...None of us accept it openly..but its true..
I know I'm the wrong person to be saying this..
But.. EXPECT NOTHING!!
Shambho Mahadeva...

Laburnums

2008-12-02T14:20:00.003+05:30

Outside my window a laburnum tree depictive of our relationship...

Shriveled leaves in trepidation of a gust...

pendulous flowers harbingers of life interrupted not ended...

A pledge of continuity in the golden lacy clusters

2008-12-02T14:14:00.001+05:30

To wallow and not extricate is the bane.....

To extricate and debase is the fate.....

Once over an done with I qualify for grace....

Video Games just passed me by…

2008-08-19T11:28:00.001+05:30

Today, you would be hard put to find a person who has not played Video games or computer games in their life, not specifically childhood, but any point of time in life. Well look no further for you have found your specimen!

While all my peers speak excitedly about the “NFS Carbon” (I don’t even know whether I’ve got the name right!) and “World of War craft” I stand by with no resource for input to the conversation! Friends have all-night LAN gaming parties where I have to either feign disinterest or risk a scandalized barrage of “What do you mean you’ve NEVER played video games !!!???”

To give some background, I work with an Internet Marketing firm thus making websites of radically different genres, types and purpose a part of my daily life. I recently had to work on this website called fatgamer.com, which is an e-commerce that sells Video Game Accessories at discounted prices. Well when I initially studied the website, it was more alien than Greek and Latin to me! Nintendo Wii, PS3, Xbox 360, PSP et al and my head was spinning. Of course I’d HEARD these names before, but to write about these and work on them is all together a different ball-game!

Well, left with no alternative I took it head on! Gaming Magazines became by bedside reading, I actually went to Croma to understand firsthand the difference between the graphics of the PS3 and Xbox 360 and spent hours researching the net for material. After all that homework I put myself to test…I tried to conduct a conversation about this stuff with my 12 year old cousin. My result??? Success!! I actually managed without falling on my face, he now actually considers me an authority on it! He..he.. that’s how much he knows!

Well my job on the site is done an passed on to other hands, but it has left me with one addition to my wish list! My very own PS3 games!!

In the eye of the beholder

2008-08-13T10:43:00.003+05:30

Boredom is rampant today where attention spans last micro seconds and todays new got old yesterday. My threshold for the same is very low as most of my generation. It was time to alleviate this reccuring boredom which is slave to distractions. Indeed it was!
People and places are a fascinating subject!
There kick in the complaints...
"I dont have the time".."I'm too busy"..."Travelling nowadys is such a pain"..et al..

But I say you dont need the time all you need is your normal life.
We all travel to our place of work or study...run small errands for home or atleast go shopping!
Look around observe, the world is new each time you look at it!
Take a new route to a familiar place, reach there by a different means of transport..Look around you is a place of beauty that is uniqe, like no other! Isn't that what we look for each time?
My answer to places and travel is a poem my cousin once wrote..

I see beauty in the overcast sky
I see beauty in the rabbits eye..

At this juncture I'm going to make a statement- People are fascinating.(period)
There is a story with each person and in every conversation. A wonderful new horizon better than a book of stories is open to you. The variety of joys, sorrows, problems and events that you get a peek into within a window of a 10 minute conversation is phenomenal. Apart from the appreciation of the human spirit you develop another gift is the value of your life and the conveniences we usually take for granted.
These two observations in place....I'm never bored now!!

Extract

2008-06-26T21:49:00.002+05:30

There are days when sorrow is like a physical ache. Under your skin, its is a soiled washcloth the surgeon left inside before sewing you up. In your bloodstream, it’s a murky grey fluid, an effluent without an outlet. Inside your ribcage, it is the deadweight of despair. Even neon seems dim, music grates. People are talking to you, but all want is for them to go. Their concerns are trite, banal, pointless, compared to the grief that you cannot share with anyone. There are such griefs and they are most terrible.

At this precise point of time, happiness may seem a myth, a chimera, a bedtime story for children, a poor urban legend. When were you happy last? Yesterday? The day before? Yes, you can remember those times, those moments, but you cant believe it was you. It was another person, yes. It was another world. Here, now, this moment, you can never be happy.

You make a list. You start small: mundane happiness’s, commonplace joys and random unplanned delights in a world where happiness was allowed. Lying about in a meadow in the winter sun. The caress of a river breeze on your face. Getting wet in the rain after seven years. Cuddling up with someone you love under the quilt.

But memories of happiness can hurt too. Can you ever go back to those moments and experience them again, now, with the knowledge of what comes after? Will the sky ever be as azure as it was on that winter day 10 years ago? The quilt may be the same, but you could be alone.

Happiness happens. But the patterns of its arrival are random, and its departures are staggeringly unexpected. It knows no reason and follows no apparent logic. Causality can be established, but you know that introspection and analysis often spoil it. It can be a warm light, it can be a cool blue. Anticipation can be it, so can afterglow. Bliss is doing nothing at all but it can also be working at a feverish pace. But most of all, right no, for you, happiness appears.

A sleeping child, a warm puppy, a mother’s lap. Two rainbows in the same sky and animals hiding in the clouds. The first snowfall, the last love of your lfe. Ducklings waddling down to the pond, the sighting of dolphins.

People find happiness all the time, You know that. P.G.Wodehouse and the Pickwick Papers. M.S.Subalakshmi singing Suprabhatam in the morning. Vintage Kishore Kumare on the car stereo at 100kmph on the highway. The Lion King from Hollywood and Munnabhai MBBS from Mumbai.

But why do you need to be happy? Why do you crave for it, if the only thing you know for sure about happiness is the inevitability of betrayal? Happiness won’t last, it will leave, without even the courtesy of a wave goodbye. Did not one of your professors once tell you that creativity is directly proportional to the amount of tragedy you hold in your heart? What sort of pictures could a Vincent Van Gogh with his soul at ease paint? What is the big deal about happiness? From your limited knowledge of the world’s major religions, you have a sense that most messiahs have spoken about the peace of mind, rather than happiness. You could be wrong, but that’s the notion you have.

2008-06-18T16:08:00.002+05:30

This place seems strange to me after such a long hiatus. I will have to refill it with ME!!
but strange as it may be..it is also strangely familiar..

the peaches and ice-cream still make my mouth water..

I'M BACK!!

UP AND AT 'EM....ATOM ANT!!!!

2008-04-12T10:30:00.002+05:30

I haven't been here or to any of the blogs I frequent for quite a while now...
& am going to be away for longer...
when I start visiting your blogs again...thats going to be a while given my screwed up schedule..
that will mean I'm back on the blogging scene!!

Thanks and Regards...

P.S: I really hope I'll see all of you people around again when I come back..please please!!

Cheers! and Ciao!!

2008-03-27T23:36:00.002+05:30

Dheeme se naseem mein aagaz hai teri,
Samandar ki mauj mein ehsaas hai teri;
Kaliyon ke rang mein muskaan hai teri,
Mere in lafzon mein hi pehchaan hai teri..

Memoir in six words

2008-03-22T22:10:00.003+05:30

Celebrating the vacuum between insanity and illusion..

Silsila Suron Ka

2008-03-16T16:44:00.002+05:30

I experienced a rare treat yesterday, two of the greatest instrumental maestros of Indian Classical Music performing together after seven long years.
Pandit Shiv Kumar Sharma on the Santoor and Pandit HariPrasad Chaurasia with the flute created magic yet again like in their album "The Valley Recalls".
It was quite by chance that I was able to go and I really thank the heavens for it. Each of these maestros are synonymous with the instruments they play. They have elevated the status of their respective instruments and classical music world over and also retained the sanctity of their art.
The performance was organized by CRPIM(Center for Research and Promotion of Indian Music) along with Perfect Octave at Shanmukhananda Hall, Matunga. The program was divided into three one hour segments.

First there was performance by Pt. Shiv Kumar Sharma on the Santoor accompanied by Ustaad Bhawani Shankar on the Pakhawaj, a percussion instrument- ancestor to the tabla. The rippling river like sounds of the santoor and the resounding sharp beats of the pakhawaj complemented each other beautifully reminding one of a river with a rocky bed close to a waterfall.
Shiv Kumar Sharma started an aalaap in raag Madhuvanti which Ustaad Bhawani Shankar built up to a jod, slowly leading the concert into a beautiful cresendo.

The second performance was by Pandit Hari Prasad Chaurasia accompanies by Vijay Ghate on the tabla and Santosh Shank supporting on the flute. Panditji played a beautiful composition in raag Maruvihaag, which he jokingly proclaimed as "mera vihaag". The bansuri (flute) sounded like molten jaggery with all its sweetness overflowing. He led tabalchi Vijay Ghate a merry dance when they began the jugalbandi, but the latter manfully held his own to hearty applause.

The third and final segment was indeed a treat like I have earlier called it. Shiv Kumar Sharma began, sitting beside Chaurasia, dedicating the jugalbandi and performance to their age old friendship, claiming that it was not restricted by mortal life. There was an expectant taste in the body of the audience. The stage looked like a gathering of old friends, Sharma, Chaurasia, Ghate and Bhawani Shankar, great instrumentalists in their own right playing together creating a symphony, yet giving each other space. It was an hour and a half of pure rapture indescribable in words. They played primarily in raag Khamaj keeping it lightly classical with a little mixing of raagas. They teased, challenged and complimented each other drawing the audience completely into their performance. They enjoyed themselves thoroughly and that same joy was transmuted to the audience.
They received a unanimous standing ovation from an audience of around 15oo.
This was undoubtedly one of the most memorable evening of my life.

Someting about a few things...

2008-03-07T19:26:00.002+05:30

Strange title though my post possesses it does originate from someplace in reality.
After a long spell of a relaxed time wherein the most taxing thing I would have done would be to simply get myself to college ( in which also, records say I defaulted by more than 40%......OMG!!! I'm sooo dead!), I was suddenly plagued with what I call quite a bit of work yesterday.
Though I'm still in my final semester my training for my future job in Convonix has begun. As a part of the evaluation process we have to complete an assignment in the each week before we met for the training session again.
Well can you guess what my assignment for this week was???
Writing articles for BlOGS!!!! Cool na?
My deadline for the articles was Thursday before midnight. Only thing was I knew nothing about the topics. But everything considered not too bad.

Yes, thats what I was beginning to think as well when I realized on Thursday morning I had a project presentation and report due Friday morning 9.00 am for which I had to actually "CREATE" the project to present!
ALSO I had an article due for a magazine!!

My day went thus-
Thursday 6th March 2008
8.00 am:
Woke up with a nightmare. Got bathed and dressed.

9.00 am
Assessed exactly what had to be done and got started.

11.00 am
1 trigger of project complete(please I deserve applause for this one!)
An article on Personal Loans Complete.
Rush hurriedly for driving class.

1.00 pm
Enter home.
Gobble down lunch.
Get back to work.

4.00 pm
1 entire module of project completed(yelled-"Yaayy!!I have something to present!!")
Article on Home Loan complete.
Researching Video Game consoles(I know naught about them!)

7.00 pm
Article on Video Games complete(I actually know the differences and features of Wii, PS3 and XBOX now...theoretically of course)
Article on fractal theory complete.
Begin report of project.

8.00pm
Salsa Class.

9.30 pm
Devour dinner.
Continue Report.

11.00 pm
13 pages of the report done.
Begin Powerpoint presentation.

1.00 am(7th March 2008)
Compiled report and ppt ready.

1.30 am
Study 25 pages for test which is scheduled in 8 hours.

3.00 am
Drop into bed exhausted.
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I'm sorry I bored you'll with my entire day's timetable. But its been a long long time since I'd done so much work all in one day and I learnt a little about so many diverse topics.

Personal loans
Home loans
Use of fractals and applications
Video games
Insurance
My own final year project(lol...)

Now, thats what I call a satisfying day!

Little Boxes

2008-02-29T21:11:00.000+05:30

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
Little boxes, little boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

The life of an average individual is so predictable. Though different in the details, everyone leads the same life in essence. Like Malvina Reynolds says, we are all like little boxes! Sure I may be a 4*4 box painted in orange and you may be a 3.75*3.75 box painted in green, but at the end of the day we are both cuboids!

And the people in the houses
All go to the university,
And they all get put in boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.
And there's doctors and there's lawyers
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

Each one trying to find your own niche in the world, looking for essentially the same things. I can bet that 90% of people reading this post will have a similar list, Security, Comfort, Family, Love etc...
There is a said way to go about this. Do well at school choose a good profession and spend more than a quarter of your life slogging towards it and the rest, slogging to keep what you have achieved.

And they all play on the golf-course,
And drink their Martini dry,
And they all have pretty children,
And the children go to school.
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
And they all get put in boxes
And they all come out the same.

Many people whose blogs I follow have been speaking about love and marriage increasingly lately. Not that I'm reading anything into it but we all eventually do want to be settled and not live out life alone. Children when they come along will have their futures planned so that they in turn can be secure and comfortable.
Restarts the circle...
Little boxes...

And the boys go into business,
And marry, and raise a family,
And they all get put in boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

Life goes on..

I do not venture to comment on the integrity or achievements of anyone's life but don't you feel like being a different shape sometimes.
I want to be a cone made out of mount board painted in fuchsia!
I don't want to graduate I want to paint and only paint through my life!
I don't want to care where my next meal is going to come from and whether I'll be able to retain this roof over my head tomorrow!

Well but in the end, we are all little boxes, little boxes and we all look just the same!

I love Peter Seeger's songs which my father exposed me to as a child. This is also the theme song for weeds. Do listen to the song.

I Need To Know!!

2008-02-26T10:09:00.004+05:30

A person without thoughts is not a possibility. The thoughts may be redundant, silly, stimulating, destructive..anything but, thoughts they are!
We think about multifarious things in a day. Thoughts triggered by different events, with a varied essence and of varying magnitudes.
According to me Maslow's Pyramid of needs helps in answering a lot of questions which are physiological and psychological in nature. It can help each of us identify the pattern of our thoughts.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs consists of five levels: the four lower levels are grouped together as being associated with Physiological needs, while the top level is termed growth needs associated with psychological needs. Deficiency needs must be met first. Once these are met, seeking to satisfy growth needs drives personal growth. The higher needs in this hierarchy only come into focus when the lower needs in the pyramid are satisfied. If a lower set of needs is no longer being met, the individual will temporarily re-prioritize those needs by focusing attention on the unfulfilled needs, but will not permanently regress to the lower level.

So when we actually reach the stage of self-actualization we are apparently materially and emotionally satisfied individuals.

After a lot of analysis I figured I think I'm in the "Need to Know and Understand" segment.

So where do you figure you stand in the hierarchy of needs?

FACEBOOK

2008-02-20T22:32:00.004+05:30

The latest in a line of fads online is FACEBOOK and it has been for a while now!
It does have its positives vis a vis other networking sites like the profile block options have taken the security to another level and the graffiti options lend it a very personal touch.
Another thing that makes facebook popular is its innumerable applications. There is available a wide spectrum of applications from the cutest ones like "What comic strip character are you?" to completely outrageous ones like, "What is your secret sexual fantasy?". Most of them are absolutely random and thus amazingly popular.
The human touch comes in with the superpokes like cuddle, party with etc (and can also be as silly as 'throw sheep at'!) and the Hug me applications. When used in moderation it can genuinely put a smile on your face. Awarding superlatives and nicknames to friends has become the coolest and sweetest gesture!
I find myself taking the most random quizzes on earth to simply kill time (it results in mass murder though!). My friends typically sned me atleast an average of 10 crazy requests a day.
A nice thing is that I met a couple of my blogger friends on facebook as well- helps me know them better.
What is sad is that the core purpose of the site .ie. Networking and Communication seems to be getting lost in a melee of applications!
Of all the people reading this..If you are on face book-
How many use it to leave your friends a message instead of throwing sheep at them?
Also your opinion on the place and importance of networking sites in our life is welcome.
Cheers.

This is unfortunately how MY facebook profile looks.. :(

Words Of Wisdom

2008-02-15T17:46:00.002+05:30

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do

6. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will be happy."

7. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

8. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.

9. When things go wrong.....don't go with them.

Most importantly....

10. Now is the most interesting time of all.

With a Parsi tinge

2008-02-12T11:55:00.000+05:30

"Family Matters" by Rohintan Mistry is a book I read at the recommendation of a friend, whose judgment I fortunately trust. I say fortunately because I adored his style of writing.

There is absolutely nothing climactic about the novel. Family Matters is a story about Parsi family living in modern Mumbai dealing with the day to day gravities of youth, age, death, duty and desire.

Only in his words the humdrum of daily life gets transformed. The best parts of the novel are the simple accounts of daily life breakfast time in an household, the children's jokes, family rituals etc. Here is one of those authors who does not just give you an insight into the lives of his characters but nudges you to laugh, weep, despair and live with them.

The novel opens with an account of old Nariman Choudhary's birthday party. Nariman is old and frail, constantly haunted by memories of his past. He lives in Chateau Felicity with his middle-aged step-children, Jal and Coomy. The family is visited by Nariman's daughter, Roxana, with her husband and their two young sons. It show cases the relationships in a family which though fragmented by history is bound together by mystery. The suspense of Nariman's apparently scandalous but in reality helpless and painful past is revealed through the book in bits and pieces, like random isolated pearls to collect before you can string them together. The prose slips in and out of different perspectives: sometimes we feel Nariman's pain, sometimes Roxana's concern or Jal's guilt. The novel begins with Nariman, but the final word goes to Jehangir - from the old to the young.

This novel traces the lives of many individuals and how they fit into each others life to weave a fabric that gives us the essence of life and the living, youth and its innocence and age and death.
In case you do plan to read it. I will recommend a corner with minimal intrusions for this one.

MY BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!

2008-02-11T09:31:00.000+05:30

I just completed the 21st year of my life on February 8th and this year the celebrations
have been the best of all. This was all due to my friends who were wonderfully brilliant!

The day started at 12.00 am with friends and family from all over the globe calling to wish me a Happy Birthday. Many friends with whom I had completely lost touch called me as well, that felt really great. Amidst all of this, come 12.10 am a couple of my friends from my building landed with a cake. I know this is no new thing, but it was the first time that it was done for me so I was extremely excited.

Well one of the unfortunate things is that I had to sit through an entire day of lectures. Once that was done with I had planned a stay-over at a college friend's place. There the day seemingly began to go downhill. My friend told me in the middle of the day that we might not be able to manage a stay-over because she might be having some guests at short notice. Also most of my friends dropped out one by one due to some reason or another.

When the lectures were done, the friend whose house I was to stay at convinced me to at least spend sometime with her at Pheonix Mills, irrespective of whether or not we could manage the night time party. Churlishly I conceded.

Then began the surprise! I reached the McDonalds at Pheonix Mills to find that all my college friends were there, they had only pretended to drop out! We sat around ate and chatted for a bit, but my friends were strangely reluctant to leave. After about 20 minutes I come to know why!
They had co-ordinated with all my closest friends in Mumbai and got them all to come as a surprise for me. They also said that the stay over was very much on the agenda, the drama was simply to keep my mind of their other plans. The best part was that when I realized my friend Madhuri, sitting in Pune, had co-ordinated all of this!
We made merry for a bit while I was just unable to wipe a silly grin of happiness off of my face!

The rest of the evening went as planned. Cake, pizza, pepsi, party games and a late night drive!

It was my best birthday ever!!
I thank God everyday for my family, now I've realized that I HAVE to include my friends in that list as well!

I've fucking been torn apart!!

2008-02-06T23:57:00.000+05:30

I'd come across this review site- Ask And Ye Shall Receive, when Neo got his blog reviewed.
So I decided to submit my blog as well. Not just for kicks but because I genuinely want to try to take it to the next level.
I know that, no one person's opinion is the be all and end all of the world, but for me EACH ONE COUNTS!
So here goes:-

She's giving me a toothache
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
There was a time, many, many years ago, when I had a Molly Ringwald perm and 20 pairs of Guess jeans and wore white Keds with everything. I made mix tapes of slow songs from the radio and wrote heartfelt and weepy poetry. I sent rambling notes to friends with cutesy acronyms (KIT, FFE, BFF) and used hearts to punctuate my exclamation points.

Because I was that girl once upon a time, it makes it hard to slam Sneha from Life is Above it All. Oh, she's quite a bit older than I was during the time I'm remembering, and she's a good deal smarter than I was, but that core of innocent youth remains. I don't want to squash that earnest hopefulness.

It's not that this is a hot mess. It's just... young. And fluffy.

To start with she's managed to include two of my pet peeves. There's a huge ass banner that takes up the entire page and I have to scroll for ages to get to content. Why do people do this? Why? Next, she uses ellipses constantly. Look, y'all. There's a time and place for these popular little dots: to indicate the removal of text, to indicate a thought trailing off, or to indicate a pause in speech. And that's about it folks. Overuse can be extremely annoying to read.

Some more problems? Lots and lots of poetry. Sappy, angsty poetry. It's not for me. Some people enjoy it, I'm sure, but I can't get into it. Especially rhyming poetry.

Also, the subtitle portion in the banner means absolutely nothing to me. "Emotion is not a football." What? I'm sure there's a cultural disconnect here as she's Indian and I'm American, but I can't for the life of me understand what she's getting at. And unfortunately that happens a lot for me with this writing. Oh, she's smart. No doubt. And kind and good and sweet and hard-working. But unfortunately for me this blog boils down to a lot of words on a screen. And not much else.

This is a young girl's diary, a smattering of thoughts and poems and daily experiences that, while meaningful to her and her friends, does not lend itself to wider consumption. And maybe that's fine. Maybe that's all she wants. But by submitting her site to be reviewed my guess is maybe she's ready for more. If that's the case, some suggestions:

Tighten up. Edit. Get rid of the ellipses, use proper spacing around punctuation, refrain from using cutesy IM-speak (ur, u, 2, shud, cuz, randomly capped and lowercase words, etc.). Don't write in all lowercase -- e.e. cummings can get away with it, you can't. Write for yourself but consider your audience. What do we want to know? Do we want to read paragraphs and paragraphs of your daily experiences? No, absolutely not. Find something interesting to write about. Boil it down, find the good bits, wrap it up in a bow, be concise.

Find your voice -- right now you're one of thousands of sweet young girls with nothing much to say. What makes you different? What do you have to say? Where is your individuality? I read your whole blog, and I know there's more you're not sharing: you're observant and insightful and you have a charming spirit. But it's flat on the screen. There's no dimension.

Right now it's a

but don't give up. Get cracking on my suggestions and let's see where you end up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, the rating means-
We meant to rate you, really we did, but we fell asleep reading your shit. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. snore.

Oh well!! Nothing lost!

RESULTS...and more

2008-02-05T00:10:00.000+05:30

After a busy and eventful beginning to the year, February has brought with it a slump.
The only thing on my agenda seems to be waiting for results.
Today finally one wait is over..I came to know this morning that I have not made it through to SIMC.
well that only leaves me with my semester exam results to await..

I am co-authoring a new blog with my friend Balaji..
Please do drop by and leave us ur comments..

IDLI CHUTNEY

SAGA OF SIMC

2008-01-31T22:54:00.000+05:30

I should have posted this days ago...but have just been a lazy bum!!
Better late than never though..
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I reached Pune, along with my parents, on 23rd night by train, which by the way I had caught just in the nick of time. The guest house we realized, to our dismay, was a good 11 kilometers away from the institute, where I had to report at 9 am each morning.

The Symbiosis Institute of Media and Communication, where I had been called for a second round of interviews, was conducting it Fest-o-Comm and Admission procedure for the batch of 2010 simultaneously.

The campus was full to bursting with applicants of 3 specializations and their guardians, easily around a 1000-1200 people. My darling parents escorted me and waited till I was registered and asked to move to another part of the campus to collect my schedule for the next four days.
After the initial confusion, we were directed to the institute building where I met hordes of people, basically my contenders. I say contenders because I found out that we were around 350 applicants vying for just 36 seats!
And what should the first thing I see on my schedule be?? My Panel Interview was going to be conducted in exactly 37 minutes!! Despite my immediate panic I did laugh mentally at the ridiculously "accurate" timings(military style) on the sheet viz.

INTERVIEW 1019 hrs 24th January 2008

Well thankfully I just about managed to gather my wits and my interview went off just fine. After a series of questions about why I wanted to do advertising and what exactly I wanted to specialize in, a couple of questions more and they wrapped it up. It lasted exactly 5 minutes, the shortest interview I've ever given in my life.
I also had a group discussion scheduled much later in the day. I decided to make use of the hours available till evening to socialize and make some new friends. I met some wonderfully brilliant people in the course of the day, some of whom I'm still in touch with. You'd be amazed at the spectrum of people who might apply for an MBA in advertising! A 21 year old Latin American dance instructor, a bassist from Goa who works in the radio, a B.Com honours squash captain from Delhi etc. Every person was infinitely more interesting than the other!
Still left with spare time, I participated in a Salsa workshop and took part in an advertising contest for which I won a cap. I finally wrapped up the day with a satisfactory Group Discussion, to head home tired and sleepy.

The next day dawned bright and early. Completely unused to the temperatures in Pune, I was chilled to the bone in the rickshaw ride to Symbiosis. I was glad for the fact that I'd made friends the previous day as it made 25th infinitely more pleasant and relaxing. It was the Journalism day of, Fest-o-Comm. I attended the seminars which were on subjects like- Brains, Beauty and Broadcast, Is the media removed from the majority addressed by speakers like, Sivanti Nayanan, Vidyashankar Iyer etc. The person seated next to me by strange coincidence was my friend's girlfriend, whom by the way I had never met before. I still dont know how we figured it out, but thanks to her my day was made. After the seminars I had the most tasty Alu parantha I have ever set my teeth into, at Kakke Di Hatti, in the canteen of SIMC. The only thing I had on my agenda for the day was the verification of my documents which I managed to get done earlier than scheduled. Well, after all the day had to have its down side right, I broke my bag and my shoe. But fortunately for me my Pune based friend, who was visiting me on campus, lent me hers. As for my shoe I walked barefoot for a while but was the proud owner of a smart , brand new sandal from Woodlands by the end of the day.

26th January began in the usual way, with flag hoisting in the premises of the guest house where I had put up The third day on campus was the Advertising day of the festival. I was really looking forward to listening to the seminars. So I was there at 9.30 am despite having only a peer interface at 2032 hrs. The six hours from 10 am to 4 pm were extremely informative and inspiring all at the same time. We had eminent speakers such as Ad guru Alyque Padamsee, the brains behind the "toing"(Amul Macho), Mr. Pushpinder Singh and a few others address us on topics ranging from Conceptualizing and Media Planning to the simple generation of an idea. Madhuri, the friend whose bag I was still using, came to spend the evening with the malai kulfi available at one of the stalls, and as a by product catch up with me. We caught the beginning of the rock band competition-Distortions. I then headed for my Peer Interface, where as a test, they made me sell an ugly cat to a finicky feline lover.
That evening I met a childhood friend of mine, Gayatri. By the end of our tete-a-tete I marveled at the ease with which we slipped back to being friends at a level so uncomplicated, its a rare thing in today's world.

27th dawned, a chilly Sunday, supposedly the last day of the admission process. My parents left early to return to Mumbai. I lunched with Gayatri and her family and went ahead to Viman Nagar (location of the SIMC campus). The submission of my Assignment, which each short-listed candidate had to complete, was scheduled at 1329 hrs. I was happy that I would finish early and be able to hang out with my friends for the remainder of the day, but things just spiraled out of control from there on. The Director of the institute, dubbed Spacely Sprockets by some(no prizes for guessing why!), was assessing each applicant's assignment personally and individually. On reaching the specified location I was told that there spill over of yesterdays applicants were being tackled presently and this at 2.00 pm on the last day of the procedure. Things just got progressively worse, the back log and delay increased. It was a scene of utter chaos, confusion, disillusionment and last but not the least frustration was rampant. Amidst all of this who else. but my guardian angel, Madhuri came to keep me company. Though she enjoyed ourselves, speaking to random people and taking on the role of delivery boy for the famished, she got unfairly yelled at and water accidentally thrown at her. Thanks to her, I had a memorable dinner of pizza and a chicken wrap amidst pandemonium. It was actually extremely entertaining, the only drawback being, hungry people staring at you as you eat is not pleasant! The queue didn't seem to be ending, and finally the Deputy Director announced that those who wished could come back the next morning to submit the assignments. The announcement immediately decided my course of action.
The remainder of the night was a pleasant stay over at Madhuri's house.

The next morning I had to miss my pre-booked seat on the bus to Mumbai and go back to the insti instead. But fortunately everything went off smoothly and the director appreciated my work on the assignment, which made it worth the while. Immediately, I headed back for Mumbai in the company of an interesting couple. I finally reached home at 6 pm on Monday evening thus concluding the SAGA OF SIMC!!

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A few good things that came out of this:-

1.)I realized that my networking skills are genuinely good and I'm really thankful for knowing all the people that I do.

2.)I met some amazing, interesting and lively people in Pune and mad some good friends who will hopefully last me a while. Also I reconnected with a childhood friend. And last but not the least have come to truly appreciate Madhuri!

3.)Good management should not necessarily be expected from a Management school.

4.)Irrespective of any city I stay in or visit, Bombay will always feel like home!

HAPPY TIDINGS

2008-01-28T20:13:00.000+05:30

I've been away from town for a while....but obviously with good reason...
2008 so far is proving to be a very good year for me *touches wood*....

1.> I got a job with a profile that i love!!!
I've been recruited as Assistant Project Manager...and this particular firm will provide excellent
exposure..

2.>I was short listed for the GDPI or rather 2nd round at Symbiosis for an MBA in Advertising...
I just returned from pune today and the admission process went off well..
I will know whether or not i'm in within the next 2 weeks...
I was there for the last four days and the experience has been one of a kind..
I will chronicle them over the next 2 days..
so look out for my posts on the "Stint at Symbiosis"..

2008-01-20T18:34:00.000+05:30

I got my first blogger award from Rajeev..
thank U :D

I want to pass on this award to..

Nothingman-for both his blogs..
Jeevy himself for his amazing work and even more amazing templates..
Ashu-for being herself...
Annie- for starting afresh..
Dharmabum-for writing amazing posts..

2008-01-19T12:50:00.000+05:30

Like a butterfly
you think I am..
Broken out of
the chrysalis of time...
The time we shared
together as friends..
We retain the title
still today-but only in name..
In my colours
you will see it reflected..
The influence-
our larvae of same origin..
Little do you know that,
my life is a bubble..
I constantly move forward-
but with memories as lifeblood..

PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

2008-01-12T08:36:00.000+05:30

I just got back from a trip to my grandmother's house in Nagpur. For the 4 days that i was there, i took a morning walk with my uncle who is a Brigadier General in the Indian Army, and as i just realized after all these years, an extremely interesting human being.

Each day we had a different topic of conversation, arbitrarily chosen. On one of these walks, we had an interesting discussion on Religion and Philosophy.It started interestingly, when my uncle suddenly asked me, "Are you an atheist?"

Now I AM an atheist-at least according to the dictionary. Basically I don't believe in worshiping God, in religion or idol worship. I do, but, willingly partake in all the social and cultural activities which have a religious inclination. This i do as per the advice of my late Grandfather, firstly because these are abundant in India and secondly to avoid antagonizing my parents and stay away from societal controversy and consternation. Considering all this, I Do believe in a power above myself and that the universe is governed by a higher energy force, this I do for my own reasons.

So, getting back, I answered my uncle's question in the affirmative and explained to him that I believe in the omnipotent energy, of which I have seen proof, and this belief I require for strength when my mind is weak or when I falter.

He then explained his point of view with the help of the Upanishads and the Bhagvad Gita. Having said that, I must clarify that though a religious person himself, he took a purely philosophical approach while speaking to me.

It would be quite impossible to retrace the exact discussion owing to my rather poor memory and the fact that we digressed a lot in the course of the discussion.

But at the end of it I wished to summarize the conversation. That resulted in the following:

The concept of 'God' is a man-made one. Every different religion is the result of the limitation of the mind of man in the way of 'conceptualizing' God.
For eventually every religion in essence preaches the same thing- 'God is and omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient manifestation of our belief.'
Religion is a tool for initiation into the 'philosophy of life'.
The various contorted consequences and unfortunate abbhorance in the name of religion is a result of the decay and limited cognitive and perceptive abilities of man's mind or a shrewd mind with an ulterior motive.
I found in my eccentric perception a certain degree of consensus between the age old 'Bhagvad Gita' and modern day philosophies of Ayn Rand, who propounded the concept of 'Objectivism'.

The Bhagvad Gita says that, Lord is not removed from the universe i.e. they are one. I interpret this thus- You are a part of the universe, thus You are a part of the Lord.
So, if the Lord is power, then you are in that power and a part of that power!

Ayn Rand, exults the capability of MAN, not men, and HIS potential, above all else. This concept she calls Man-Worship.

These two philosophies in conjecture tell me,
"To believe in MYSELF, MY energy, spirit and thought and move towards MY goal."

Everyone has a right to their own opinion and philosophy-this is mine.
This may seem like a warped or half-baked or even a brilliant philosophy, with which people may agree or disagree, but, it is MY PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE.

THANK YOUS...

2008-01-12T08:28:00.000+05:30

Firstly...HI guys..
I'M BACK!!

i just wanted to dedicate a post thanking all the people who take out the time to read this blog and leave comments on my erratic rants...

your view..your time and encouragement are very valuable to me...

this year is for me one of the most crucial of my life...i really hope i can see it through successfully...

Cheers all!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-01-01T08:55:00.000+05:30

The 1st of January is just another date on the calendar..So why the hype about it..
Yes..along with the fist 2 columns on the date line even the 3rd column changes...thats why...then shouldn't we celebrate everyday!!
Well...I think we should...Welcome to this celebration which we call life!

but now since we have shown this apartheid b/w the numbers on the date line...
lets flow with it...

Like everyone else, even I dissect my old year for the good and the bad happenings..
relive memories....wish for big good things in the coming year..make umpteen resolutions(which i NEVER keep)...

But what IS special about this day..NEW YEARS EVE is..that...

its an excuse to have special fun(some ppl need it)...
to remember loved ones(why do we need this)...
to hope for a better tomorrow(shouldn't we do this every night)...

we shud live everyday like its new years eve..(minus the extremely WILD partying and wishing all and sundry..)
and our life will BECOME a celebration...

i'd stopped making resolutions last year...
but only keep one thing with me..

MERELY WISHING FOR GOOD THINGS TO HAPPEN IS NOT SUFFICIENT..BE PROACTIVE ABOUT IT!

LOve to all my readers and non-readers and their near and dear ones...
and warm wishes for good health and happiness for atleast the next 365 days...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am necessarily going to have be away from this space till the 10th of January...
See u all after i get back....
TAKE CARE..
CAIO..

IT ALL WORKS OUT IN THE END...

2007-12-29T09:15:00.000+05:30

Everybody loves to catch up with friends. But in this busy day and age to actually meet up and hang out with people outside of work place or educational institution is very difficult. Its the eternal problem of TIME.

Strangely I found a few friends all relatively free on the same day, when I had the time and opportunity for a house party.Now, here comes the catch....I knew each one of them from a different place viz. one from pune, one from my building, one from a class that I once took etc and some of them were bringing their friends to boot.

So, not only did my guests not know each other, I had guests whom, even I didn't know.
Now, if you have ever planned a party you know, that this is a sure shot recipe for disaster!!
Guess what....
Surprisingly, it was a HIT!!

People started arriving at around 6 in the evening. Every time a person came in there was this introduction session, but I restricted it to who's who and left them to figure the rest in the course of the evening. Till around 8, when my last guests arrived, it was pretty interesting and you could literally see people "getting to know each other" over a couple of drinks.
Its funny how comfortable the whole atmosphere became. Not a SINGLE person, and i don't exaggerate, not a single person was left out. Yes, there were some jokes that were sometimes lost on a few people, a few lapses of memory(i.e."Oh sorry, what was your name again?" kinds) and some verbal faux pas, which could actually happen anywhere.

A multi-cultural, multi-professional and metropolitan crowd, it was quite a stimulating and fun place to be.

Dinner was an even better affair. Despite it being a Friday night we decided to take a chance at a restaurant, without prior reservation. Piling into rickshaws, after 2 tries we finally got a decent table at one, where NONE of us had eaten before (For those in Mumbai, its called "Restaurant 5", in Santacruz, around Rs.250-300 per head, exclusive of alcohol) . It was one of the best meals I've had in a really long while. Pleasant ambiance, amazing food and even better company!
Funny stories from school, college, work place from such a broad spectrum of people...It was fascinating! Not one boring moment.

We then headed to Bombay Blues, for our eternal favourite, Sizzling Brownie Sundae. There outside through the glass we were entertained by a couple of kids diligently practicing their WWE moves.That kept us for about half an hour.

All then camped at my place for the night..Floyd in the background(minus the vodka, unfortunately).There was a chaotic mess of people who had to get to work and college and stuff from 6 o clock in the morning, and all this from people who had finally condescended to sleep at 5 am.

I was left behind with a messy house, impending studies for my next paper and a sense of happiness.

Everyone here last night had a good time and has made a minimum of 2 new friends.
We figured out rock music is a common interest and most of us are meeting again tonight at 'Livewire'..the am-band finals and rock show as a part of Mood Indigo, at IIT Bombay...

so go figure!!! :) :)

I should try this more often...It all seems to work out in the end!!!

TARE ZAMEEN PAR

2007-12-23T09:55:00.001+05:30

i actually saw the movie first day..first show...
but i dont have the time to actually write a review about thus movie...because..
i could simply keep writing!!

it is BRILLIANT.....multifaceted....sensitively handled.....implosive in its drama....

The actor Darsheel is awesome....he has done an amazing job..
and Aamir Khan..words fail me..
His directorial debut was an ABSOLUTE dhamaka!!

There were so many things i loved about it that i can't even begin to put it down..
I was in tears throughout the movie...
It is BEAUTIFUL in every single respect..
Kudos to the whole team of TAARE ZAMEEN PAR..
and a special one to Aamir Khan for giving us this movie hoping there will be many such more...

PS: PLEASE GO WATCH IT!!!

<<<<<<------ONE YEAR BACK..........>>>>>TODAY

2007-12-22T14:10:00.000+05:30

A YEAR BACK

December, in Mumbai, is one of the most pleasant months. The residents of the city get a respite from the humidly oppressive heat without having to bear harsh winters.
On one such day in December 2006, they met around mid-morning at Churchgate station-A casual meeting between friends who hadn't met for a while because of exam schedules. They greeted each other with brilliant smiles, reserved for people who "make your day".

They exchanged initial pleasantries and headed towards Mocha for a relaxed morning of coffee and chatter. Most of the day passed by like a breeze...lunch at Pizzeria....a walk along Marine Drive...well almost...

Come evening, they sat together at the sea-side. Each of them involved in their own thoughts--thoughts of events, other people and life in general. The conversation was just perfect, just enough to suggest company and comfortable enough to allow room for the thoughts.
Suddenly, she glanced at him and caught him staring at her. She held his eye and they looked....just looked at each other.

They only noticed time, when it began trying to veil the intimacy of their gaze, with the dark blue of the night sky.The spell lifted and a chill breeze blew in.

Not a little conscious, she eventually asked him,"Usually when we speak, even when you are miles away from me, over the phone, I always know what exactly is going on in your mind and heart...
But today, you are here sitting, not 1 foot away from me and I'm incapable of understanding anything about you."
He just smiled a mysterious smile and answered.."Thats because I was thinking about you..."

TODAY

A year has passed that day....a year full of turmoil and unpleasant events.....

He calls her up.
Him: "Hi!! Whats up?"
Her: "Hey, nothing, just watching TV..U tell me.."
Him: "How are your studies going on?How was todays paper?"
Her:"Sucked big time...Better try to make up in the next one..What about your work?"
Him:"All great as usual."
Her:"And your amma?"
Him:"She's fine. But I do miss her."
.
.
.
.(a pause..the kind that you would call pregnant..)
.
.
Her:"I think I should get back to my work now"
Him:"Yea, I guess you should...bye!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess life goes on....
we haven't seen anything that qualifies the end of the world yet..

CSM

2007-12-20T19:24:00.000+05:30

i studied for it till my brains went all fuzzy..
eight excruciating days, i was all busy..

through random numbers and simulations..
to end in a page full of tabulations...

the distributions of probabilities..
to check system reliabilities...

while thinking of the time...
when i leave all this behind...

today dawned scared and queasy..
i think this rhyme's just getting cheesy...

so lets get to the actual point lastly...
my paper today was extremely ghastly!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a random rhyme after an appallingly traumatic paper of COMPUTER SIMULATION AND MODELING..
cheers to u'll while i get to my next paper!!

BLOGGERS..POETS AND CONFESSIONS...

2007-12-14T08:38:00.000+05:30

I like my blog!!
Well I'm starting by saying that because, unwittingly this has become a rather important part of my life..
I always knew what kind of a writer I was..and how much or how little I could do with my words..
I'd begun this blog for absolutely no reason...save...boredom!
But now its extremely therapeutic...
To be able to vent..or simply ramble....basically treating it like a Pensieve(For those who are Harry Potter ignorants..check the link)..
But wait..a diary serves this purpose too..doesn't it?? In fact its better...u can write whatever the fuck u wish...no one to censure it or judge u!!
Nah..thats what makes this place different and better!
The people.....those who read your blog regularly and comment...leaving behind words of advice...happiness...wisdom...comfort..as and when required..
Following other blogs by other people just completes the blogging experience...
The variety of topics...difference in thoughts and opinions...radical lifestyles...there is a lot that gets reflected in each blog, irrespective of the kind of blog that it might be..
a lot of people say.."I MY BLOG IS ME"...well i cannot somehow wholly agree with that statement because each one keeps a bit of themselves away from others..the reasons are different for each...
but everyone does it...
i don't judge people by their blogs...
i don't assume or presume that i know ANYTHING about the person just because i've been reading his/her blog...
but it DOES give u a sense of familiarity...

Now i really admire a lot of my "blogger friends"...

Annie- with her undiluted words straight from the bottom of her heart...
i admire this because..call me a wuss but i NEED the cover of poetry or abstraction to
express...

Ashu- who is so clear in each of her posts and pays attention to every detail...
her thought process clearly visible in each and every one of her posts...

c e e d y- heres one i started following only recently...but i think he comes up with great ideas in his posts...
his innovative and creative streak comes across on his blog..

D- opinionated and independent....yet her posts have an extremely homely feel to them...

Dharmabum- now i do enjoy his "bummy" way of writing...he's irregular but makes up for it with extremely long and flavourful posts when he gets back..
his posts are like captain cooks recipie...but u can still taste every ingredient..yes even the socks!! ;-)

DreamCatcher- aahhh...this is Mr.Big Words...my God I learn atleast one new word per post from him...
He writes beautifully in both English as well as Hindi..his poems have an ethereal quality to them which is extremely seductive...

Eva- aahhh..this is one good writer...shes refreshingly different and really good...
its a very young though sufficiently tempered view on life...which is beautiful to behold...

Keshi-this is one blogger whose blog is genuinely her online diary...
she write without inhibitions and reservations...the way she manages to carve her everyday life into such interesting posts, it makes me feel that life is never dull..
its the way u look at it..

Raajeev- this guy is absolutely amazing...completely out of the box...
the romanticism in his tales are amazing...and his poems are equally if not more brilliant...
he paints a very vivid picture irrespective of the medium he uses..

Neo- aahhh...the dark side of the moon.....
he uses his blog to vent...but what a beautiful blog that makes it...
his templates are always beautiful..and his poems..my oh my...they are dark..dripping with pain...the only colours he makes u thin of are the scarlet of freshly spilled blood and the black of death!
All this makes his blog strangely addictive...

Nothingman- Only lately have i realized the true value of this genius....
"i admire him" is an understatement...i absolutely love him...
i don't know HOW he manages to come up with a story AND a poem every day...and never has he posted an excuse for either...
sheer talent!!

PK and SAJIT- well these are actually my friends(not only on the http)...
and their blogs tho listed are defunct...but i mention them here because i have been greatly impressed and influenced by their words and works...

Shimmer- tho not on my roll...I'm amazed by this runaway poet!!

I really want thank all these people for making this fun and enriching....and all the others who visit this place and brighten my day...I read many more blogs and appreciate the sentiments on them all..the above are just a few who have left an impression on me in some way or another...
this seems to have a tone of finality to it..but I'm definitely not going anywhere and will continue to waste web space for a long time to come...
Keep blogging people...
Cheers!

2007-12-13T21:01:00.000+05:30

Thi woh eik shaam-e-ghazal..
Mehfil mein na koi hosh tha..
Hum bhi kuch madhosh hi the..
Us shaam..jab hum zindagi se mile..

tag-a-long

2007-12-13T09:40:00.000+05:30

I've not taken up any tags for a very long time....
but i got tagged by educatedunemployed yesterday...
SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MYSELF
i think i've done it before...but ppl change the randomeness about them changes as well...

1.)I cant hear alarm clocks!!
no seriously..its not silly...even if u keep the most cacophinic alarm clock right next to my
ear...I CANNOT HEAR IT!!

2.)I share a love-hate relationship with my mobile phone...
When its not working..i'm happier without it..
but when its there we are inseparable...(still wishing it was in the shop)

3.)My tastes have lately undergone a drastic change...
i do no sports
love mush and comedy over sci-fi
unconsciously incorporated a whole lot of PINK in my wardrobe!

4.)I never form and opinion about ANY person in the first meeting or convo...
have NEVER done it!!(unless of course i have absolutely HAD to..like in an interview or
something)

5.)My feet are my feel good factor...i.e.
If my feet are well kept and happy..i feel happy on the whole.. :P

6.)despite nearly being an IT engineer...I'm technologically backward...

7.)I LoVe my Blog!!!!!! :) :D

oka...now i tag...
Ashu
dreamcatcher
c e e d y
nothingman
dharmabum
D
Annie
Keshi

cheers ppl!!

REVELATION

2007-12-09T19:50:00.000+05:30

Today I'm Liberated..I'm Free..
There's no place else I'd rather be..
Gone past the irrevocable change..
New Beginnings..They can be strange..
---------------------------------------------------
I've just got my Life back..
I'm doing the same things..
But my heart feels so light..
And everything feels so right..
---------------------------------------------------
In order to move on confidently and unabashedly..
I have to make peace with my past..
See the path I've traveled..
Learn not to regret the ME of the past...
And Understand and accept the me of the present..

Aati hain jab hume yaad tumhari

2007-12-07T13:23:00.000+05:30

Aati hain jab hume yaad tumhari
Humse mat poocho kya hasrat hai humari
Ek koshish thi kabhi pana tasvir tumhari
Jo keh na sake apni juban se kabhi hum
Bina kahe pooch leti tasvir tumhari
Hoti jo aahat aangan mere kabhi
Bhar jaati tumhare ehsas se chahat humari
Rehti hoon jab main saaye mein khamoshi ke kabhi
Yaad karti hoon hamesha muskan tumhari
Aati hain jab hume yaad tumhari

2007-12-05T20:37:00.000+05:30

Na tujhe, Na teri wafaaein maangi,
Na apne liye koi duaaein maangi;
Na khwab,Na teri yaadein maangi,
Na dosti ki saugaatein maangi;
Pucho fir hume khuda se gila kya hai,
Khuda se maangi woh dua kya hai;
Tum khush raho, rab se yeh fariyaad ki thi,
Lekin meri khusi barbaad karne ki ijaazat na di thi..
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I apologize if it was appalling...but it was a sincere attempt at shayari..

HOPE

2007-12-02T17:44:00.000+05:30

i was just cleaning out my book shelf when i came across my very FIRST book in which I wrote poems...
here's my favorite one out of those...
this is about 8 years ago...and so its sort of kiddish...
but love it because its my first published work...in my school magazine... :) :D
i was damn proud of myself...

neway..here it is...

HOPE

There is beauty in the sunset,

There is beauty in the dawn,

One makes you think of what has been,

The other leads you on,

So while you enjoy these precious hours,

Let no regrets cloud your mind,

There's still the future bright with hope,

And many a rainbow to find.

bE baCK s00N...

2007-12-01T19:12:00.000+05:30

alive yet dead...
with life unforgiven....

its long since i'd said it...
but now i finally awaken...

to truth..to reality..
to my life...
which is still waiting for me....

I loVe mY LyF!!!!!! :) :) :)

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my exams have finally arrived to stay for a month...
will definitely post...but probably at the rate of one a week or something...
have actually just gotten back to this place after soo long...
dont feel like neglecting it...but PRIORITIES!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S: Please read the post below...entitled LIFE..??
I really want to know your perspectives on this one...

LIFE......???

2007-11-30T21:12:00.000+05:30

Well...Wiki and Google are my uncontested God's and i will stand by that till my dying day..
But i have found some questions to which even these great search engines have no answers!!!
Life......
I think this in itself is one BIG question...
The way people lead their lives can broadly fall into three categories;

those who believe solely in action...their thoughts are always rational...and practical...they live without wanting to realize the meaning of life (if there is infact any such thing!!)
those people who try to figure the meaning of the life they lead...have an objective...and try to achieve a balance between philosophy and practicality(i would like to think that these make up the majority in the world)
and lastly those who only philosophize...their brand of philosophy abstains from productive activity...and if they achieve any its purely accidental(there actually are people like this!)

What is this great question I'm talking about?? Some problem in life?? Some major decisions to make?? Well yes and no...
Its a basic question....LIFE???

If I attach and WHY's ...HOW's and WHAT's to it...then the nature of the question will be mis-interpreted....

There are Spiritual Gurus who tell us how to lead our lives...
Religion has been doing this, for as far as human history dates back..and has succeeded to a certain extent...the thought process and behavior of a person is greatly influenced by their religious background...
There are also Books about how one go about every possible activity involved in human life from ingestion to incarceration...for heaven's sake they even tell us how to have sex!!
Friends...Family...The people who form our society are important factors in the answer to this question as well...but at least we voluntarily allow that intrusion...

But now its my turn.....
OBJECTIVE...This, according to me is the essence of life...
If u've got to live a truly fruitful life you need an objective...
Now this term needs defining...I mean it should be a broad center of ur life...
For example..Someones objective could be to attain God....
To make the world a better place....
OR....
To simply be happy....

Now what is important is to define "What makes you happy?"
Success.....People.....Social Service.....anything....

This seems easy...but is the most difficult step of all...
Once u've got this sorted...the rest is what YOUR life will be...the way YOU want it to be...
Every step or decision you take...every long or short term plan or goal that yo make...will be to fulfill YOUR objective...

Now this doesn't mean that, everyone REQUIRES to have a dream or achieve something great in life.
Even the person who decides that to be happy is his ultimate objective of life and that his happiness lies in -doing a decently paying 9-5 job, go home to his family and take the kids for a picnic on Sundays, as long as he lives this completely,
HIS QUESTION IS ANSWERED...

But I'm still asking.... LIFE???

THE VOICE OF A TERRORIST

2007-11-28T18:47:00.000+05:30

My life is abhorred,
But for me was felicitous and gay,
as I chose the spiritual way,
They raved and ranted,
About God being squandered,
We listened enraptured,
Our minds staid and stronger,
We soon picked up rapiers,
And severed our minds,
Took an oath of subsistence,
Till placed in our shrine,
A promise of a tryst,
With the almighty lord,
Lured most of our kind,
To the paths we trod,
It wasn't a spoof,
I realize now,
I'm trooping those heights
My wish will materialize now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(the thought i have expressed in the poem are what i understand form the concept of JIHAD from a time when terrorism was not a professional option!)

The reason I have written this poem from the perspective of a terrorist, is because I was genuinely wondering what makes them do what they do and stick by it remorselessly.

I tried to do a little reading to figure it out, but obviously a terrorist has yet come out with his/her biography saying "This is why i became a terrorist----".

The reasons could be a plenty and varied. Broadly it could be because of socio-cultural conditions experienced while growing up, company kept by impressionable minds and more often than not some personal experience of loss because of the same activities they perpetuate in order to take revenge.

Meaning no offense to any religion but a majority of the terrorists in the world today, are Islamic. Unfortunately, because of these miscreants and their distorted interpretation of their (actually beautiful) religion, a stigma had been attached to Islam in countries which are not primarily inhabited by Muslims. The prejudice has only increased the divide.

"Mujahideen", is the word they use, which means struggler(it has its root in the word 'jihad').
The mujahideens in history were considered heroes, thats another things the TERRORISTS have negated, the positive implication of JIHAD in history.

But despite their abominable actions, what actually disgusts me something else.

Today, Terrorism has become a high profile PROFESSION, under the false guise of religion.!!

Living in India, we have now faced a lot of terrorism in all parts of the country in the past 15 years. Right from the 1993 blasts to the Hyderabad blasts of last week, perpetrated by organizations from within and without. Each time a different Lashkar or Mujahideen organization takes the responsibility for the incident.

But among all other emotions, I always wonder,
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING????

EGGS FOR BREAKFAST

2007-11-27T09:12:00.000+05:30

When making my breakfast
in the morning today,
I wondered, what it my egg
represents my day?
An omelette, with chopped chillies,
onions and tomatoes,
Is a day when life, keeps you
on youe toes,
A fried egg or two, either sunny
side up or down,
Indicates a happy one or one,
marked with a frown,
An egg minus the yolk, for
the diet conscious folk,
A day of healthy living, lest
we die of a stroke,
An egg that goes wrong, can
be scrambled,
A day when life, is all
in shambles,
But fluffy buttered scrambles,
make a very tasty dish,
And ultimately breakfast in bed,
is now my wish!!

GOLDEN WORDS

2007-11-26T08:45:00.000+05:30

Life deals everyone with at least their share of shit,
But each one reacts differently to it,
Some understand that it is crap and flush it,
Others stir it, just to test what happens.

HERO

2007-11-26T08:28:00.000+05:30

I believe that there is a HERO in all of us.
This is because, according to me,
"To do the right thing, even when no one is watching, simply because it is the right thing to do is heroic."

This sounds simple enough, but ask yourselves,
how many would work as well if it were not for appraisals..
how many would study as well if it weren't for competitive and relative grading...

Begin by redefining a SUCCESSFUL LIFE..
Success lies in the quality you can see and feel in your own life, not, what others see in your life.

It is difficult to stick to the good path, to make this difference in your own life, simply because its right. We need to keep a constant check on ourselves, our life and other path to the future.

So the average man who does the right thing and is happy in his life qualifies as -my HERO.
The man
Who does his job well irrespective of whether or not his boos is looking,
Who plays with his kids, whether or not anyone is watching and
Who showers his love and lust only on his wife..

I think even such a person is a hero in life..

just something beautiful i came across...

2007-10-24T21:03:00.000+05:30

I'm not begging you to love me.
I'm not really even asking you to.
But isn't it alright if i cherish that hope in my heart ?
If i just dream of holding your hand it will hurt me and not you.
I'll try to keep my eyes from shining when they see you and
i promise not to smile a special smile when you say hello.
But please...
Don't ask me
Not to love you.

2007-09-22T18:53:00.000+05:30

Light is as surely a hoax
as is the adage
"Everything happens for the best";
Negating the ephemeral nature
of things to come;
Misery persists as sure as darkness;
We remain forever,
remain in the uncertain flicker of dusk;
Unavoidably...Inescapably
But sometimes,
Joy like music, transcends
all barriers and emerges
in the form or irridescent bubbles;
Ensconed in these bubbles
we see a pleasantly distorted world;
And finally
All our hypotheses are disproved
and our analysis rndered useless....

RECIPE

2007-09-08T11:14:00.000+05:30

A cauldron with drops of honey,
Without any knowledge,
Awareness adds various ingredients,
Different for each one,
Sometimes good, Sometimes bad,
But eventually a recipe is what you have,
The stirring with a turbulence begun,
The ingredients react,
All the cooks can do is wait and watch,
Apprehensive how the dish will turn out!

2007-08-28T22:11:00.000+05:30

Whenever a noble deed is wrought,
Whenever spoken a noble thought,
Our hearts in glad surprise,
To higher levels rise,
The tidal wave of deeper souls,
Into our inmost being rolls,
And lifts us unawares,
Out of all meaner cares!

Onam

2007-08-26T20:25:00.000+05:30

There is only one festival in Kerala which is celebrated with great ceremony and gaiety....ONAM...

href="http://www.onamfestival.org/gifs/onam-in-kerala.jpg">

Onam is the one of the most beautiful and meaningful festival in the World. It is traditionally a harvest festival but there is a legend attached to it.

Legend has it that there was once a king called Mahabali. He was extremely powerful, a conquerer yet a kind and good king and a man of principles. He was performing the sacrificial rite of Viswajith at the banks of Narmada River, and declared that he would give anything that anyone sought from him during this Yagna. At this the gods were very annoyed. Bali was the ruler of all the three worlds having defeated the devas.
The gods approached Vishnu and asked for his help to dethrone Mahabali. Vishnu, incarnated in the form of Vamana, a dwarf to defeat the Daityas. As he was approaching them, the sages assembled there perceived the extraordinary effulgence form of the young lad. On being received as befitted a brahmin, Vamana smiled and said: "You need not give me anything great. It is enough if you give me that extend of land covered by three footsteps of mine".
Bali's preceptor, Shukracharya a Daitya priest, who could have vision of the future told Bali that the one, who had come to seek a gift from Bali was not an ordinary Brahmin but Lord Narayana Himself who had assumed this form. He advised Bali not to promise the lad anything. But Bali was a king who would never go back on his word and told his Guru that he would never break his promise. Bali told his Guru: "Prana (life) and Maana (honour) are the two eyes of a person. Even if life goes, honour should be protected. Granting that the person that has come now is the Lord Himself, I should be the most fortunate one as the Lord, who gives everything to mankind, is seeking something from me."
Vamana grew in size until he towered above the heavens. With one foot, he measured all of the earth. With the other, he claimed all of heaven. There was still one foot of territory that Bali owed him. Bali offered his head to be measured as the third step of land which Lord Vamana had asked for as alms, thus sending him to pathala.
As a last wish Mahabali was granted the permission to visit his subjects once a year. Thus, Keralites celebrate Onam festival to commemorate the memory of a Great King Mahabali who would keep his promise. Mahabali fulfilled his name as the great martyr for the sake of Truth. The name "Mahabali" itself means Great Sacrifice. Thus Onam celebrates a series of martyrdom of the devoted Daityas.

Prayer, festivities, sadhya and Vallamkali are typically symbolic of Onam.
Sadhya is the feast that comprises of a variety of dishes

and Vallamkali are the famous snake boat races which have now become a regular event.

For me the best part of onam is the Onasadhya...my mother makes scrumptious food which i consume in copious amounts...(yummy!!)
and of course the new clothes...but thats the story living away from Kerala..
The festivities in kerala are spectacle to behold!

My Onam Wishes
Maveli, in God's own country,
Descends annually to ensure bounty;

Amma, elegant in a mundu so white,
Bordered with a golden light;

Achchan also helps in the kitchen today,
Eleven yummy things-sadhya at midday;

Fresh flowers and clothes new and bright,
A pretty pookolam-a welcome delight;

Celebrating Bali's true and generous way,
Wishing you a Happy Onam today.

--------------------------------------------
PS: Do check out the links for further and better information on Onam..

Story of my Love Life....

2007-08-22T22:20:00.000+05:30

i never thought i would find a song that aptly describes any part of my life....
but i recently found a song that describes my love life perfectly...

ONly his name isn't DREW....and i don't play the guitar...lol...
but in essence its the current state of my love life...
not really my kinda song...but the lyrics just HIT home!!

its called "teardrops on my guitar" by an artiste called Taylor Swift...
here are the lyrics..
Teardrops On My Guitar Lyrics

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

do check out the video on youtube....

sorry...

2007-08-22T21:48:00.000+05:30

i know i've been away a really long ....
i actually want to add a special sorry to annie along with a thanks...
i've been busy with a job interview for the past week....but sadly i've not ended up getting it...so i'm really sad about that...

neway...am back...

FOR HER...

2007-08-15T08:27:00.000+05:30

On 15th August 1947, Nehru gave his speech about "A tryst with destiny...." with hope, pride and vigour in his heart..
Today, exactly 60 years of that day...let us ask ourselves whether we have achieved that which our forefathers dreamed..
I think..the answer is we have and also not...
Because..India has truly made scientific, economic and cultural progress..
But with all these positives have come too many avoidable and unavoidable negatives..
When I say unavoidable I mean-- pollution, economic divide etc...
and by avoidable I mean--corruption, communal disharmony, media circus etc...
For most of us this has simply become a day...when we get a holiday from work and school...Sing Jana Gana Mana after the flag hoisting and see the parade on DD1.(*tho i wonder how many peole do the latter as well nowadays*)
To write a good appraisal on the current state of India, I will need to research my facts and figures...but then that may be a technically correct analysis...but what I feel from the heart is...

India is a resilient country, and has been and continues to progress exponentially, despit all the hurdles and encumbrances...Everything has its positives and negatives, so before criticizing next time we should keep in mind...to cite a few examples...
Political system--yes it is corrupt, slow but has sustained over 6 decades and works remarkably well for a country with the size and diversity of India...
Economic system---yes it is increasing the economic divide...but only because of these same policies have we carved a much required niche in the world economy..
and so on....

Each one shud try to think of a way they could do some good to the country..I dont mean a grand plan(*If u can come up with one then ...brilliant!!*)
But I mean..by just individually being a good citizen....
Vote..Pay ur taxes on time, be a good Samaritan, involve in social service in ur area etc...
that can be our contribution to=== India-A Superpower...60 years hence....
To end just something I wrote...

FOR HER

In search of solace,
Hurt and Lost,
I cried, till I found her lap;

In her arms I lay,
Broken and Bruised,
I cried, till the break of dawn;

In the shroud of her care,
Soft and Caressing,
I cried, till the pain was gone;

In my mind I saw clearly,
Numb-robbed of Sensation,
I cried, till the tears dried up;

In clarity, helped by care,
Lonely, but not Alone,
I cried, silently, till she could hear no more;

In that plight, so straight I stood,
For Her and the World to see,
I smiled, but my heart still cried within me.

Advances...

2007-08-12T18:55:00.000+05:30

My circle of friends is very large...I really believe in making friends for life..
They are my priority most of the time..its only in rare moments I selfishly think solely for myself..
Sometimes a lot of the things that i want to or have to do at a personal level remain undone because of this...
Now every human being...goes through phases when they need to be purely with themselves, thus limiting or in some cases entirely cutting of contact with other people..I've been there myself and completely understand the sentiment..
But when 4-5 people in the circle of friends,that is close to u, do that...ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!
then it gets too alarming for coincidence..
Now these are all friends who have nothing to do with each other, so its not something decided amongst them...I haven't really had fights with any of them lately...so baffled and stumped i was..that when realization of this situation dawned..
My First reaction: Have I changed?? Or done something wrong?? And what am I supposed to read into this??
but slowly on reasoning, analysis, confrontation and reassurances...
IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!!
(*What a relief!!*)
I respect what each one of them is doing or has to do..each for their own reasons...
but it had left a pocket of vacuum in my life...
So this is one time that I'm gonna be selfish and wish that they all just come back soon!!
Am really missing them all!!

ADVANCES

i have,
myriad questions,
unanswered they remain;
i have,
all emotions bared,
like a mollusk u remain;
i have,
tried all i could,
unyielding u remain;
i have,
made silence my ally,
but ever loyal to u it remains;
i have,
a companion tried to be,
stubbornly alone u remain;
i have,
a hand toward extended,
like always u treat it with disdain!
-Sneha

MAYBE

2007-08-07T00:18:00.000+05:30

In this journey of life,
Walking on the road of time;

Somewhere down the lane we met,
Towards a destination ours paths were set;

Helping one another on the way,
Blossomed a friendship, meant to stay;

But the road suddenly came to a fork,
Directions in which life sent us broke;

The distance brought in a gap,
In the friendship, as well as the road map;

So now we go our separate ways,
The journey spanning more than just days;

But, I'm still hoping our paths will mend,

Somewhere before our journey's end.

Your take on love....

2007-08-01T20:42:00.000+05:30

Recently, a friend of mine put up a question for me in one of his blog posts...
It simply said...

ur take on love..........

and I replied thus....

vitruvian said...: my take on love...i'm sure v've spoken on the subject like a zillion times...
but..hmmm..
heres an ad hoc rhyme..

in my human eyes..
through lifetimes..
the state of love varies...

to my innocent mind..
in a bygone time..
love was like a quintessential lea...

to my hardened heart...
in a then stark life..
love was like a turbulent sea...

to my inexperienced mind..
in the current moment..
love is like an entity..

its boundaries blurred yet clear...
the sole reprieve yet my greatest fear...
pain which seems like exquisite joy...
a confused lie which i deny!

i hope that answers ur question...

Now for my readers...answer me this...

ur take on love..........

EXTREMITIES.......

2007-07-30T10:35:00.000+05:30

I have never meant this blog to be a journal....but unwittingly my moods, my fears, my emotions etc have dribbled their way into it....

Incidents and events are of no importance in the bigger picture...they are to be treated as trivialities...if given undue importance, they morph in to disaster!
Well sometimes...when u want to numb the emotions u tend to focus on the event...and analyze its technicalities...the "hows" and "whats" instead of the "whys"...

This is easy to do....emotions and events are manageable when they take place at different intervals of time and are independent of each other....
But when lightning strikes from 4 directions at once, then it is impossible to not think "WHY"??? Rants of self-pity...like.... Why me?? Why now???
But like they say....If not YOU then WHO?? If not NOW then WHEN???

But if u look around closely....Emerge from your convoluted sense of the world and pay some attention...Keep your eyes and ears open....
You will realize...you definitely are not the only one....
Its literally "Kahaani Har life ki".....
and with time and experience I've also come to believe in the adage...
"That which doesn't kill you..only makes you stronger!"

So...I figure...Live...
Go Make Mistakes...and some more!!Fall...so that you can rise again.....all the wiser for the fall.....

But for those who understand the happier side of the world...
My perception of the world just gets weirder..

I live in happiness and despair all at the same time....Tremendously happy...making everyone who stays around laugh....and feel the twinkle of their happiness...let it invade ur being....
UNTIL...the other monster takes over....the sulky, sullen, irritable...near-clinical-depression self...which emerges to simply confuse the shit out of you!!

So effectively...I become...Happy...Depressed...Confused!!
Now Do I clinically qualify for psychosis???

Now answer me this....So...What is my mood today????

Back to the basics...

2007-07-27T19:27:00.000+05:30

She sat alone on the beach staring at the immense expanse of the ocean...
desolate...scared...lonely....
nothing was particularly wrong in life...but nothing was particularly right either...
As random thoughts flitted through her brain...she felt a desperate urge to write something...
So she blindly penned down her thoughts...Her hands moved involuntarily...when they finally stopped, she tried to read the words...
But they were a blur...it took her several attempts before she could focus and see them clearly....they read...

It takes you away from the mundane,
Yet everything remains the same,
In its vastness, everything pales to insignificance,
Breathtakingly beautiful,
Yet inexplicably scary.

She looked at her life....full and empty at the same time....
She had intended to remember that there is always more to life than the present happenings..
and that she would continuously find new reasons to live no matter what...

But then a huge rock came crashing down camouflaged in a tidal wave...it shattered a lot of things beyond recognition...all that was left when the tide abated was DEBRIS...
then she asked...
Now how am i supposed to find SENSE and a REASON in debris????
There is a need for very many things...
the need to reemerge...the need to redeem...
the need to rationalize...the need to surmount!!
slowly though it will be...the process must begin...
Must go back to where I can recognize myself....

And they lived happily ever after....

2007-07-23T22:42:00.000+05:30

"PotterMania" seems the flavour of the season doesn't it?? Every possible place...conversations...print media..electronic media...with not an inch to spare!!
Well I have been an avid fan of the Harry Potter series form the very first book and though the frenzy had worn down considerably the fascination has certainly not.
The magical world which Rowling introduced to us 10 years ago is still seems as fantastic and intriguing to me. The characters, now so familiar who seem to have grown gradually with us over the time are endearingly familiar. And each one of us who reads these books relates at some level and to some extent with the emotions she has infused in them.
J.K.Rowling, by style is descriptive and know how to build the suspense in the plot. All her previous books have made for a good read(admittedly in varying degrees), but this book surpasses them all. I say this because all the answers she had kept tantalizingly secret have finally been revealed all the loose ends tied, and she had left so many such questions unanswered that every second page was like a revelation! It kept me gripped and flipping pages for an uninterrupted 9 and a half hours till I had devoured each one of the 607 pages!!
But for a change I shall not talk about the plot of the book or of the excellent characterization..but of what endeared it to me...
simply put...it was..
The fantastic reality of it all!!
Now i know..fictional world...but when i say reality I mean of the things she actually speaks about..the essence...
Of friendship...Of love..Of courage...Of sacrifice...Of self-righteousness...Of all the usual idealistic jargon and blah...
But with such a human touch...
Because its also..
Of weakness...Of treachery...Of jealousy...Of despair..Of making difficult choices...Of all the things real life is made of and we like not to talk of it...
In absurd ways each one can find instances they can relate with and personal demons can be faced and resolved..

Yes..obviously the last duel is dramatic and exciting and Voldemort according to me dies in an anti-climax...but Rowling stuck to the formula of " All's well that ends well"...for how could she kill Harry...after all she put him through...
The end of the book...for those who are yet unaware...the "Ninteen Years Later" lends it all a very "Ekta Kapoorish" touch..
But finally the end of a saga...
And they lived happily ever after....

A few of my paintings...

2007-07-22T22:23:00.000+05:30

RESULTS...

2007-07-19T23:27:00.000+05:30

I believe...
Exams are devised not to evaluate but to eliminate !!

One of the worst things about engineering is that we have 2 major exams in a year...S effectively we are all the time either..
preparing for exams..
giving exams..
or waiting for the results...
and awaiting results is a trying time for everyone...without exception....
Ok...so in my college...the results are put up in lists on this one particular wall..so it has obviously been dubbed the "Result Wall"....
and every time any old results and notices are cleared...
the uncertainty..the sos' and the prayers start pouring out!!
>Is it our result being put up??
>I hope i've cleared xyz paper/s!!!
>God please help!!
there is this knot that ties itself up in everyone's stomach....and the usual symptoms of fear..
some start shuddering with tremors as though they are reaching hyperpyrexia....
some behave as tho rigor mortis has miraculously set in while they are still alive...
some remain cool most of it..but 5 mis prior jump like cats on a hot tin roof..

So while waiting for my results...(which haven't yet come..it was a false alarm..)
I scribbled a few lines to relieve the tension...which a few found quite funny so here goes....

Tension palpable in the air,
Someones fallen off their chair;

Someones biting off their nails,
Somewhere emenate scared wails;

Watch the scene, look one and all,
Results are being put up on the 'WALL';

Shitting bricks, goosebumps prick,
Oops! Someones off being sick;

Lets check quick,PASS or FAIL,
Before we suffer a heart fail.

There's No Hope

2007-07-17T23:43:00.000+05:30

I came across this recently...and it touched a chord somewhere...

There's No Hope

you don't even know the pain i feel
when i start to question what is real
i know you're the cause
my lust for you gnaws
its way, through my brain
and i'm here, alone standing
by myself, with tears of understanding
rolling down my cheeks

this time i'm really confused
about what i should do
i have this fear of never being satisfied
i can't find stable happiness,
i've tried and tried ,
this isn't easy,

i'm the butt of my own joke,

i want some affection, this is all i hope

but now i know my bended
heart won't be mended
by your love....
no longer will i cry
or ask for help from up above
and i'll live my life until i die
wondering if i'll ever be satisfied
it's not easy being the butt of your own joke
i want some affection, this is all i hope

-Derek del Barrio

INHERENT PRESENCE

2007-07-14T14:56:00.000+05:30

Inherently woven into the fabric of my life;

In the dawn of my day,
In the loniliness of my night,
In all the things that I feel,
At every altar that I kneel;

In the colours of my brush,
In the moments of my solitude,
In all the words that I say,
At every emotion that I display;

In the happiness of my life,
In the hardships of my way,
In all the decisions that I take,
At every choice that I make;

In my breath,
In my blood,
In my heart,
In my soul;

Inherently woven into the fabric of my life.

The Order Of The Pheonix

2007-07-14T10:17:00.000+05:30

I finally saw the much awaited 5th movie of the Harry Potter series....
Firstly on a principle I never compare, when the movie is an adaptation on the book.. because inevitably the book is better!
The only movie adaptation of a book that has failed to disappoint me has been Lord Of The Rings.....ARAGORNNN!!!(sigh.......!)
Instead I try to enjoy the movie for itself...because, to recreate such a fantastic world with such elaborate scenes, is far from easy!!
This movie was much darker than its predecessors....Some scenes for example 'Sirius' Death', 'Fight in the Ministry','Weasly twins escape'...they were absolutely brilliant..had me completely riveted!!
The character of Dolores Umbridge, was extremely well executed by Imelda Staunton, right from the overly pink fluffy outfits to the simpering laugh!! Within five minutes of her entry every member in the audience wanted to harm her!
Emma Watson just looks more like an english rose with every passing movie...
And the chemistry betwwen her and Rupert Grinch is palapable just to the correct limits...
Was disappointed by a few scenes like 'Dementos in Little Winghing' and 'Voldemort entering Harry in the Ministry'...but nevertheless it was worth it!!
So...Go out and enjoy the movie..
Cheers!

2007-07-11T19:11:00.000+05:30

My lethargy, abbeted by my PC crashing...I have been away for quite a while now...
And I really haven't had anything specific to do these vacations..
Most of my batch mates have spent their vacation in the college, trying for the campus placements...which I, unfortunately am not eligible by the margin of "0.73%"...which really bites at times....but I'm being optimistic as always and not allowing that "little" hurdle to upset my vacation...
So I can truthfully say--I've enjoyed as much as was possible!
I didn't really do any blog worthy things...
Just the usual...
=caught up with friends....(Lunches..dinners..same old, same old)

=saw a few movies...(Shrek3,Plup Fiction,Chini Kum,Bheja Fry)

=read loads of books...(I really liked "Social Intellegence" by Daniel Goleman... Train to Pakistan, Inheritance of Loss, The Smile of Murugan ..to name a few...)

=had a great time with my extended family...my cousins, aunts, uncles...its rare in todays pace of life to have the kind of time to bond, as we did in the last few days..

=went an chopped my hair today...made it from knee length to waist length!!

=Ya..the best thing...I attended a music program of Ustaad Ghulam Ali Khan..
He has come down to India after a long hiatus..the concert was brilliant..it was one of the best things thats happened all vacation...

I generally enjoy plenty of time on my hands...to think about "nothing in particular" and mull over things...but this is the first time in my life when "I've hated my thought processes...disagreed vehemently with myself....and all that thinking just left me distraught...

Am just waiting for my results to come and college to begin so I'll have work to occupy my mind with...

Am awating Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, to hit the screens and the Deathly Hallows , to hit the stores..

Waiting...ultimately just waiting for everything!!

TAGGED...

2007-06-27T22:22:00.000+05:30

Tagging is one of the few concepts of blogsphere which i didnt quite understand....not that there's actually much to it...
What i don't understand is the pleasure of tagging people...Maybe now that I'm tagged myself, I'll finally figure the pleasure people get with this seemingly unremarkable activity...
So thanks Akanksha for tagging me...
Now as per the rules I have to write 8 random facts about myself...

1.)I'm a total CHATTERBOX...thats the first thing anyone says if asked to describe me..I can strike up conversations with absolute strangers as well...and u can find me on the phone a LOT of the time..

2.)I seem to have a million friends and am hardly ever alone...but actually what I love most is SOLITUDE..

3.)Am damn psychotic a lot of the time...Given to absolute randomness...I wonder how people put up with me ;)

4.)I absolutely love to write...I know that's like a d'uh, considering that I blog...but really...i can loose myself anywhere when I'm writing and I get my inspiration in the weirdest places...for instance...the bathroom...bombay's famous BEST buses are one of the all time favorite places...

5.)I absolutely love to paint....its one time when i resent any kind of human interference....My mom's learnt over the years that, I'm a live DO NOT DISTURB sign at such times...

6.)I used to be a total cynic about romance, love and the likes..But eventually and unfortunately, the bug caught up with me...I surprised myself with the seemingly unbounded limits of my new found corniness..lol...

7.)I'm totally addicted to blogging...I spend nearly 2 hrs online everyday..just blogging!!!I am already trying to restrain myself on blogsphere though i have been here for hardly 2 months...

8.)I have really really long hair...It nearly goes down till my knees now...And though i behave quite churlish when my friends and relatives..and even strangers for that matter admire it and fuss over it...I secretly revel in all the attention...I suppose thats quite bad..but whatever a girl's gotta act pricey sometime rite!!

Ok..now thats quite enough about myself....and NOW i get to TAG others!!
So heres the list of people I'm tagging:
Alok
Ankur
Gopal
Sans
Ruma
Nisha
Curryegg
Hershey
Jeya Anand
These in turn have to tag 8 ppl...ok this was not bad...adios ppl..
P.S:But honestly still cant see what the BIG deal about tagging is?? But was good to be tagged once i guess..

MORNING OF MUSIC

2007-06-24T14:27:00.000+05:30

Now I have to give some background here..I come from a family which knows how to appreciate music. My dad was very much a part of "Beatlemania" in his day and remembers the lyrics to most of their songs even today. My mother predictably likes Mohammad Rafi and Jagjit Singh and old Hindi film music. And both of them like Hindustani and Carnatic classical music and are regulars at various concerts in Mumbai. And given all of this, I'm the kind of person to who can have Bob Dylan, Metallica, Pt.Bhimsen Joshi and Bunty and Babli on the same play list(sorry but I cant stand the likes of Britney Spears!!) and enjoy them all.

But to be honest I have heard all these at home...and have witnessed only rock concerts, live!(I think I once saw a Jagjit Singh program as well)..

OKAY..NOTE....I said I enjoy all this music...but my knowledge concerning them is close to zilch..So if any facts in the following post are erroneous then I apologize profusely and welcome any corrections..

My parents happened to be going for a concert by Padma Vibhushan Gaanasaraswati Smt.Kishori Amonkar, on 24th June,Sunday at 9.00 am, at Nehru Center(Worli).The show was principally a Charity Concert, organized by the 'Bade Gulam Ali Yadgaar Sabha'.

I have heard a few of her songs before..She is basically a Hindustani classical performer who sings khyal in the Jaipur gharana style. She is currently 76 years of age and is most famous for her brilliant rendition of "baabul moraa".

We awoke in the morning to lashing rain, with grim forecasts on the news for the day ahead. After debating for a while, we decided to go ahead and reach the concert. The roads were not a good sight! It had only been pouring a few hours, but the roads were flooded with water that submerged the car tyres. Slowly, cautiously, weaving our way through fallen trees and flooded roads, with rain only giving us intermittent respite.

When we reached Nehru Center her popularity was reiterated, because the place was teeming with expectant music lovers. We had to reach the conclusion that 'Whether rain or shine Kishori Tai's(an affectionate term for older sister) program cannot be compromised'. Her music seemed to transcend all barriers of age, race, sex and time. Audiences old and young, from different classes of society-right from the 'air kissing' high society ladies to the simple middle class music enthusiasts, waited patiently as the show was delayed by almost an hour.

The rising curtain had a dramatic stillness about it.The compare introduced her and opened the show saying
"Aaj meri prarthna kuch aisi thi,
Aae baarish thodi der ke liye tham ja,
Ki Kishoriji yahan aa sake;
Aek baar woh yahan, aae aise barasna,
Ki woh hame chod ke jaa na saake!"

Kishori tai tuned up her 'swaramandali' and the 'tanpuras'.She seemed to have some trouble with her throat in the first 15 mins, but once her voice opened up, it was like a downpour of melody. Her voice filled up the auditorium like the sound of bells in a temple.The first half was dedicated to a composition called 'Mahadeo' in what i think was the Raag Bhairavi. She gradually built up the registers with amazing variations and aalap sung relentlessly for an hour and then completed the composition in the next half an hour. Ashwini Bedekar, one of the accompanists at the tanpura, supported her in this composition. I apologize as I didn't catch the name of her accompanying artists at the tabla and the harmonium.

Following a ten minute break.The organizers called upon Nana Patekar, who was a part of the audience to felicitate all the artistes with bouquets. He praised her saying "Sur hamare kaan mein atak gaye lekin tere gale mein bas gaye isiliye tu yahan aur hum wahan baithe hai!" She then spoke a few words in Marathi, through which she gave a heartfelt message, the gist of which she summarized herself in english, her last statement being "Children come back to the sublimity of classical music!".

The second composition was a beautiful rendering of "Devebhyo", followed by "Pavan Batariya" which I'm quite sure was in Raag Alaiya Bilaval. Here her other disciple at the tanpura was supporting her, a young girl with a lovely voice. On further inquiry she turned out to be Tejashree Amonkar, Kisohiriji's Grand daughter, genetically blessed with a beautiful voice and polished under the tutelage of her illustrious grandmother. She obviously doesn't hold candle to Kishori Tai yet, but I personally feel that classical music lovers should look out for her in the coming years.

Finally she sang "Ghat Ghat Mein Panchee Bolta" a doha by Sant Kabeer. This was the part of the performance that i most enjoyed. A noteworthy feature of her rendition was that she gave full play to both antaraa's, ending with a very evocative recital of all the lines strung together. A great finale to a memorable morning!

I hummed all the way back home in considerably reduced rainfall and rather clear roads. I cant remember when i last enjoyed a morning more!

ENTRANCED BY RAINS

2007-06-23T22:25:00.000+05:30

I seem to be unable to write anything except stuff to do with rains...
Every time i pick up my pen..thats the only subject i can spew words on...
Its like all other subjects have refused to flow through it....
Every one of my words sounds like an expectation to me...hoping that the rains will absolve me of all my sins and dissolve all my misery...leaving me clean, pure and simply happy..
Neway...so here goes...just a few lines to that end...

When the skies cry for us,
We feel a sense of relief,
Which transmutes any sadness
We may be feeling into a
Pure Unbounded Joy,
Which only simple things can give us,
The water cleanses,
The fragrance of wetness transports,
The sense of lush greenery satiates,
My soul finally feels liberated,
As if nature is consoling me,
And caressing me into an entirely
different realm,
Of Joy...Pure Unbounded Joy.

FOR ALL THOSE FOOLS WHO LOVE...sigh..!

2007-06-23T10:26:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was one of those uncharacteristically rainy evenings, when u want to sit by your window and simply stare at the rain pouring down...
But it was not one of those days when the rain made me ecstatically happy..it just made me inexplicably confused..A mixture of emotions whirring through my mind..
But i sat still, turning 'nothing in particular' over in my head...
when i remembered this snippet i had once written so i thought i'll put it up...

When it rains,
It feels as the skies are
Crying and rejoicing for
Us all
All those fools who love
My heart feels like
Its in a whirlpool of emotion
Soaring up to the heavens
And flung down to hell
Both at the same time
Thats what i've realized
Love feels like
That i can be happy
Even while my heart is breaking....

Pune..

2007-06-21T11:18:00.000+05:30

Getting away from Bombay was what was uppermost in my mind when i planned my trip. Pune proved itself to be the most convenient destination as I had plenty of friends to meet and its just a 3 and a half hour bus journey...I was all excited..this being the first time i was traveling without parental accompaniment..

The trip started on a good note, considering my friend managed discounted fares on a morning bus to Pune...We traveled in comfort in a Raj Travels ,Volvo...Rather uneventful journey..(barring the fact that my normally sane friend complained "But the movie isint over!!!" for a movie as dumb as 'Hulchul', when we were about to disembark!)

My 2 days was basically characterized by good food and great company..2 wheeler seems to be the ONLY way to travel in pune..So with both my friend and her(considering i cant ride a bike!) 2 wheeler at my disposal began my tour.We started with the area she lives in..Boat Club area( as it houses the Royal Connaught Boat Club).. one of the poshest residential areas in pune.

First day was devoted to discovering eating joints...
We spent some time at a mall at East Square..Since we were being treated we had to consider pricing, distance et al..I figured the eating scene in Pune is waaay better than Bombay..
Its more economical, with as good if not slightly better variety and with acceptable quantity and quality. We decided on Malacca Spice in Koregaon Park area(thats near the Osho Ashram). One of the originally quaint places...South East Asian cuisine..Candle Light dining area...Paintings on sale...A portrait artist...the works...Good service and even better food..
We ended up with 5 dishes between the 6 of us, 3 being non-vegetarian and a bottle of Red Wine all for Rs.950..(not complaining at all!!)
And the bakeries just yum!! A quest for a birthday cake revealed this fact..Baker's Basket..Khayani's...Just Baked...the list never ends..

Next morning I spent in catching up with most of the people I know in Pune..And after lunch we headed for shopping(girls are allowed to indulge once in a way)..That covered Koregaon Park(for oshos of course), F.C road, Junglee Maharaj Road etc. My friend studies in COEP so i obviously got a guided tour of that as well( with special repeated mentions to the chimney of the only functional boiler!) and their Boat Club(where Raegatta is held every year)...I thought that BC was anice place to relax..and it amazing when its within ur college campus..

To kill some time before heading for Prabhat colony..we had a dekko at Shambhaji Garden, one of the famous albeit less visited places in pune...I like the view of the Mulla Muttha river you get from all the sites along its banks(including BC and Shambhaji Park).

We then headed for Hanuman Tekdi...which was the most brilliant thing I saw in Pune..Tekdi in marathi means hillock..this one ran along a hitherto stone quarry and offered a beautiful bird's eye view of Pune. A place for people to walk..for lovers to romance...children to play...friends to hang out and loners to revel...We had to leave just before dark because apparantly the place is infested with muggers after dark.

I had dinner with one of my aunt's friends and 2 of my own at the Pizza Hut at Deccan. She then took me back to her house at Swaar Gate via Chavni(or Camp area) and M.G.Road..
I had to unforunately leave for Bombay the next morning but with a happy heart because of a good to days and also that my mind was longing to be back in the pace of Bombay..
So my summarization of Pune is..
A nice city...Lots of greeney and natural beauty( with all the gadhs and tekdis)..
No consideration for traffic rules whatsoever...
A moderate pace of life..
The "City of Tekdi's" and "A Mini Metro"

Rains..with freedom...at long last

2007-06-19T18:48:00.000+05:30

My month long exams are finally done...
In the throes of my most important papers and the weather becoming increasingly oppressive, I'd been praying for respite. I've been waiting for the rains so long and so hard, I'm sure I beat the Indian farmer at it this time round!
Finally...It rained about 10 days back...
And baarish ka pehla side effect????
>>My mind obviously flew completely off my studies!!
I simply wanted to rush out and get drenched..but couldn't take the risk of falling ill in the middle of exams...I was trapped but my mind and soul was flying trying to capture the essence of the beautiful rapturous rain!!
Phrases were running amok in my head...but they were all in hindi...when i tried to translate they were simply sounding absurd and too ostentatious...the words were loosing their essence and meaning...
so decided to write in hindi itself...I beg pardon of all those people who may get offended by the malaprop of any term...
So here goes:
Station ke bahar pakode ki khushboo aaye,
Chapre ke neeche garam masaaledaar chai!

Phurrr se baarish hui shuru,
Dhunde toh dekha, chatri nahi laaye!

Jhijak ke do minute soche,
Phir bedhadaas paani mein nahaaye!

Woh geeli mitti ki khushboo, Woh garam bhutte ka swaad,
Without fail dilade barsaat ki yaad!

Kapde ho gaye kharab, Naale se badboo aaye,
Phir bhi yeh baarish maan ko bhaa jaaye!

Khao chowpatty pe bhaaji pau, Naarial paani ko mat bhulao,
Samandar kinaare baarish ka alag hi anubhav!

Ghar pe coffee aur kitaab, Bahar garajti kadakti barsaat,
Aise bhi, kuch apne dil ko lubhaaye!

Alag rangon mein, Alag dhangon se,
Jaise bhi ho...
Baarish mein mazaa toh sabko aaye!

-Sneha

TEMPORARY BREAK!!

2007-05-29T15:54:00.000+05:30

A turbulent spree of exams coming up....
Thanks to all the people who have just started visiting my blog..feels nice...
But have to go off till the 15th of June...
Please check out this space after then...
Sorry...
Adios...
Keep blogging..

SCARED

2007-05-28T08:50:00.000+05:30

SCARED

Emotions remain as words, unsaid,

Unwritten,Unexpressed,

Scared of what they will unfold;

Emotions remains as stone, untouched,

Unfelt,Unacknowledged,

Scared to know what my heart holds;

Emotions remain as an animal, chained,

Unaware, Untamed,

Scared to accept what my mind knows;

Emotions remain as a sea, silent,

Uncharged, Unrevealing,

Scared of the storm it heralds.

-Sneha

SUICIDE

2007-05-26T19:02:00.000+05:30

SUICIDE

When life was bleak,

No hope, No light,

No will to fight,

That was when I thought of Suicide;

With walls closing in,

No sound, No sight,

No will to live,

That was when I thought of Suicide;

Stripped of all feeling,

No sense, No emotion,

No will to find reason,

That was when I thought of Suicide;

Life seemed more precious,

No courage, No right,

No delusion, Just fright,
That happened when I thought of Suicide;

So forever more I am,

No feeling, No reason,

No life, Just existance,

That was when i couldn't take my Life.

-Sneha

WHAT U MEAN TO ME...

2007-05-24T09:56:00.000+05:30

There is no better way than a poem to tell someone what they mean to you...
On the receiving end of it, I can tell u..
It feels wonderful, to have someone tell you, that you are important to them..
and that your existance, actions and friendship means something to them..
One of my freinds gave me this gift..And it meant more than anything that money could buy..
He gave me this poem saying.."Its not one of my own..But I says exactly what I feel"..
Here it is:

What You Are To Me

In unhappy times when you hurt and bleed
I’ll be the friend that you will need

Coz you’re special to me in many ways
The way you’ve helped me in troublesome days

I’ll never forget the sacrifices you’ve made
My smiles you’ve loved, my tears forbade

You’ve been with me in all my joys
Every moment with you I have enjoyed

Everything you’ve done I will repay
In my own small insignificant ways

Coz you’ve been the friend I’d always need
And I’d be to glad if I could be

Something even close to what you mean
Everyday I thank God for giving you to me

Vidushi Khera

EXPRESSION

2007-05-23T19:53:00.000+05:30

EXPRESSION

Expression takes on a different form,

and a whole new dimension;

Tentatively treading the boundaries,

Scared of seeming callous;

The initiative taken,response acknowledged,

The nuances become tangible;

Feather-light,Soft,Tentative,Teasing,

Commanding,Plundering,

The work of a thousand words done;

The soreness lingers-a sweet memory,

Infinitely closer than moments ago;

Yet waiting and wanting more.

-Sneha

WORDS

2007-05-19T20:21:00.000+05:30

In the map of human history, pattern recognition in the fabric of life started with written documentation. Considering the age of our planet ‘Earth’, the life of human history has been very small indeed and WRITING is one of the greatest inventions. It IS power…power to express, power to influence, power to share, power to record…
It is also another thing- an art. Writing as an art has been prevalent since the earliest times. The beauty, meaning and secrets that WORDS hold are comparable to none other. The power of words is real, yet not substantial enough in this illiterate world, where change is inflicted by people who don’t know the value of these words.Going away from the technicalities, in the course of life i have realised that SCILENCE and INCOHERENT WORDS can wreck more havoc than the most eloquent of speeches…Now I consider my self blessed with the gift of gab..but there came a time when these Words failed me as well....Here's how:Words are usually my friends,I can use them to express anything,and also sometimes use them to my end;But now they seem useless,Shallow and a means to no end;They are not enough to express my care,And entirely inadequate for my despair.

PAIN

2007-05-18T13:33:00.000+05:30

In this world where everything becomes obsolete before you have the time to experience or realise it..
Events, Incidents, Relationships, Friendships, Emotions...All of it....
The only thing that remains constant through all of it for everyone and all time is PAIN...
Some rejoice in it, Some wallow in it,
Some flounder and lose themselves in its depths,
Some learn to make it a quiet companion...
My take on it...

I live,I survive,
I have learnt to thrive;

I play with joys and sorrows,
Which are here today but gone tomorrow;

I live but alone with my one true companion,
my mate,
My pain its my only constant,
my fate;

At first I floundered, got lost in its depths,
Confusion, so deep my whole life upset;

Then for a while I wallowed,
Till ultimately I learnt to rejoice in the sorrow;

Now,I talk to it,I sleep with it,
I cover it with my eiderdown;

It has become my companion,
The only one I can call my own;

What do you know of sorrow, others say,
What pain has ever come your way?

It is not for others to know,I say,
Whats mine is mine alone;

I dont judge our pain, do I?
So to each his own;

Its the only thing that makes me realise..
I'm alive,
Battling my pain in this otherwise plastic life;

My friend, My foe,
My fortune, My fate;

With me it lives, With me it thrives,
Its my only true mate, with me it will die.

-Sneha

The Fate Of Love

2007-05-16T11:09:00.000+05:30

I could never have put it better or even as well my self...

I am....Cauz I Blog: When Love Turns Sour....

THOUGHTS.

2007-05-12T20:17:00.000+05:30

One thing that i think has the most contradictory nature are THOUGHTS.....
Here's my take on it....

Flitting over blooming greens,
Swooping down to glassy stillness,
Soaring into the vast blue...

Restless,Capricious,
Defying the patterns of harmony,
And yet...

So Harmonious,
So Insightful,
So Beautiful..

Its purpose, is not to entertain
or to be tamed,
But to be, appriciated and observed,

Is it Tangible, Surreal or Merely a Caprice......?

LOVE

2007-05-07T19:20:00.000+05:30

Childish tho the rendering might be...it speaks my heart..

People called it the most beautful emotion;
Unawares I lived with that notion;
I believed in it so long;
I sang it in every song.

It came without intimation;
Inability to curtail it was my limitation;
I believed in it so long;
I sang it in every song.

In every nuance, in every gesture;
To all of life i added a different lustre;
I believed in it so long;
I sang it in every song.

There was no promise, no betrayl;
But every moment seemed like a trial;
I had believed in it so long;
I had sung it in every song.

Life resumed, but unlike the pheonix;
Once burnt it couldn't rise again from the ashes;
My belief was proved wrong;
My voice now carries no song.

-Sneha

LIFE IS ABOVE IT ALL....

2007-05-07T17:45:00.000+05:30

In this harmonic chaos and patterned jumble of everyday that we call human life, I have observed one thing common to all- A REASON..

A reason to live, A reason to love;
A reason to try, A reason to cry;
Without a reason its all a lie.

It is this reason that marks the difference between 'living life' and 'simply existing'. A reason is what gives our life its quality. Each one is entitled to possess a different set od reasons, which may vary with time and circumstance. This reason for some may be material, for some emotional, for some spiritual and for some etheral.
Now at this point, most would try to figure in some corner of their mind.."What is my reason??..that which give my life its quality". And to find out, again most. I'm sure, went the route of.."What is it that my life is meaningless without??"..not surprisingly most even come up with an answer--music, football, work, a goal, cricket and more often than not, a person.
But what I think is...though this reason to live is extremely important..
LIFE IS ABOVE IT ALL....
The loss, the heartbreak, the tragedy, the revelations, the petty issues, the pithy joys.. all of it....
Its all constant..but the only constant thing is LIFE.
Its just that the parameters change the direction, the reason, the quality..while life still goes on...
You can reacquire material possessions find a new love, overcome loss and tragedy, accept revelations..... Then at the end of it RE-EMERGE living life with a new reason, just proving that...
LIFE IS ABOVE IT AL...

Peace of Paper

Letters to Appa

Mortality

Scream!!

I Belong

Concealer

Time

The new piece of paper for peace

Drafts...

What matters...

Words again...

Just us...

pal..

Khamoshi..

Experience..

Wake Up Sid

The Window Slightly Ajar...

My friend, Sancho

*Next Life** **by Woody Allen*

Conclusion....

Laburnums

Video Games just passed me by…

In the eye of the beholder

Extract

UP AND AT 'EM....ATOM ANT!!!!

Memoir in six words

Silsila Suron Ka

Someting about a few things...

Little Boxes

I Need To Know!!

FACEBOOK

Words Of Wisdom

With a Parsi tinge

MY BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!

I've fucking been torn apart!!

RESULTS...and more

SAGA OF SIMC

HAPPY TIDINGS

PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

THANK YOUS...

HAPPY NEW YEAR

IT ALL WORKS OUT IN THE END...

TARE ZAMEEN PAR

<<<<<<------ONE YEAR BACK..........>>>>>TODAY

CSM

BLOGGERS..POETS AND CONFESSIONS...

tag-a-long

REVELATION

Aati hain jab hume yaad tumhari

HOPE

bE baCK s00N...

LIFE......???

THE VOICE OF A TERRORIST

EGGS FOR BREAKFAST

GOLDEN WORDS

HERO

just something beautiful i came across...

RECIPE

Onam

Story of my Love Life....

sorry...

FOR HER...

Advances...

MAYBE

Your take on love....

EXTREMITIES.......

Back to the basics...

And they lived happily ever after....

A few of my paintings...

RESULTS...

There's No Hope

INHERENT PRESENCE

The Order Of The Pheonix

TAGGED...

MORNING OF MUSIC

ENTRANCED BY RAINS

FOR ALL THOSE FOOLS WHO LOVE...sigh..!

Pune..

Rains..with freedom...at long last

TEMPORARY BREAK!!

Next Life by Woody Allen